beanski

the lemonade stand

We had Renee's 3rd Birthday party yesterday and the only thing that didn't go exactly as I planned was the weather. It was one of my favorite days ever and the memories of it will be etched in my mind for eternity. Uncle Carl built the kids this lemonade stand and they LOVE it. I see many, many, MANY weekend afternoons spent out by the curb selling lemonade to the passersby. Thank-you, Uncle Carl, from the bottom of all of our hearts!

they each have a buddy

As the kids get older one of the things I'm loving the most is getting to know my nieces and nephews and watching them build friendships with my kids. Each of them has a little buddy. Charlie and Griffin are a year apart, Renee and Sarah are six weeks apart and Sam and Cameron are six months apart.

We spent the weekend together in Mankato celebrating Sam's birthday and while I have a boatload of pictures to process, I wanted to post these.

If you sit around and listen, the boys are sneaking in discussions about poopy butts and saying crap like it's a swear word. I love that they already have secrets.


And don't get me started on the girls. They spent most of the weekend locked in a bedroom upstairs having a "Girls Only" party. They slammed the door on the face of any boy that came near them and they pranced around all weekend long holding hands. I have no idea where this girliness comes from as my sister Jen and I are not super feminine women. Our girls seem to think they are princesses though :) 


And these two don't know it yet but they are going to be best buddies too. Right now they're really only concerned with the fact that there is a lot of sugar on the table in the form of Fruit Loops and that is just not something they get every day :)

  

mullet

When I was pregnant with Renee I told Ski that I hoped the baby got his curls and my motor skills. I never once thought that we'd be lucky enough that both kids would inherit their dad's wild, curly hair. 

Introducing my son and his mullet of curls. And no,I don't have any intention of cutting them. Like ever. I like mullets.

 
 

i guess this means he's a big boy now

I remember this exact moment with Renee. I remember opening that picture, starting to process it and the tears streaming down my face. I remember seeing a toddler and not a baby and how it pulled at my heartstrings. I remember wondering where the time went, how I missed it. I promised myself to not let that happen again. I promised that I would hold on to the baby that was then still in my belly and I promised that I wouldn't let it (he was an it at the time) grow big without me noticing.

It happened again only today I'm looking at my son, my baby, THE baby.  

He's a boy. 

Life has gone so fast that I've hardly noticed his face thinning out and I don't remember what day it was that the rolls around his wrists disappeared. I want that day back. I want to tell his baby chub goodbye. I want to tell the dimples on his knees that I'll miss them. 

Just we're clear, Cameron, you'll always be The Baby to me. Always.

i never liked eggs anyways

My first discussion with my pediatrician about Cameron’s upset belly happened almost an entire year ago. Cameron has never been a good sleeper, always very gassy at night and needing to be held upright in order to sleep. He’s always been FUSSY when he needs to poop. The problem snowballed pretty much from month two to month eight, peeking around the five month age when he started figuring out his voice and how to use it to get what he wanted.

He screamed all fricking night long. For months on end.

Those were some hard times for me. There were nights when I seriously thought I was going insane.

Around eight months things got a little better. He would sleep for slightly longer stretches, like four hours sometimes, but he was still waking up from dead sleep arching his back in pain. Some babies wake up talking and gibbering, mine woke up screaming. SCREAMING.

I got to the point where I just gave up and quit trying to change it. I quit trying to follow the rules to get your kid to sleep because nothing worked. I was so tired of thinking about it. I gave him Maalox sometimes and that seemed to help but it didn’t go away. Life became survival; I vowed to wait it out until it just magically went away on its own. My husband and traded night duties, both trying to get enough sleep to function at work. I quit talking to his doctor about it because I don’t think she really believed me that there was a problem. Babies don’t all sleep, right? Suck it up.

I had tried elimination diets while I was nursing to try to figure out if something was causing it and eventually just quit nursing all together. He adjusted to formula and started eating solid foods and things did get better. Around 10 months I thought we were headed in the right direction. He seemed happier, would get better, less fitful sleep most nights and was generally more rested.

Then a month or so ago things took a turn for the worse. He started waking up at night again and he’s a toddler now and stubborn as a mule and I’ll be damned if he didn’t fall asleep the minute we sat with him in the chair only to lose his shit and start screaming the SECOND we laid him down. Over and over.

I blamed teething for a while and then a couple of weeks ago I was making chocolate chip cookies and he was sitting on the counter “helping.” I wiped off the wooden spoon with a paper towel and give it to him to chew on. He broke out in a rash all over his face.

You would think the light bulb would have gone off then but it didn’t really. It didn’t really go off until I took him in to get his flu shot and they asked me if he had an egg allergy.  I didn’t know how to answer that. I told his doctor about the cookie incident and she suggested we do a blood test to look for egg allergies before we gave him the vaccine.

I got the results back the other day. The little dude is allergic to eggs. On a scale of one to five, he’s only a two. It means he will likely break out with hives when he comes in contact with raw eggs. It means that it is possible that an egg allergy is the culprit for his gastrointestinal problems from day one. A YEAR ago, I thought there might be something going on with a food allergy. For a YEAR he’s been dealing with an upset belly from the things I was eating or from the things I was putting on his plate.

When I look back now, it makes a lot of sense. His best stretch in terms of sleeping and generally happiness were months nine and ten. ALL I was feeding him was formula, fruits, vegetables and meats. No bread, no waffles, no EGGS.

I feel the biggest sigh of relief that I have ever felt in my life. Honestly, I cry just thinking about what he’s been going through, what I’ve been going through, what we’ve all been going through. I so wish that I had pushed the blood test for him sooner but I’m glad that the cookie dough incident happened so that I had something to go on. I’m thankful that the allergy isn’t severe and that it isn’t a dairy or wheat allergy instead. I'm learning how to make eggless waffles (his favorite). I’m learning how to make a lot of food without eggs.

We’re going egg-free and I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time. I accept that it probably won't magically fix everything, maybe it's not related to his belly issues at all, maybe next week he'll get up nine times next Monday night. But I have hope. For the first time in a long time, I have hope.

the birthday boy and his cake

I would say Cameron was fairly interested in his cake. I think he was a little overwhelmed at being the center of attention. Part of the fun of being the second born, I think. He clung to Daddy for the first few minutes like "Don't leave me here with that cake! PLEASE? All of these people are looking at me. I mean, I kind of like it but I just don't know. DON'T LEAVE."

"Dad, I'm hanging on tight, DON'T GO."

"He did it. He sat me here just like I asked him not to. Mom, get your butt over here. Why are you always back there behind that camera? Everyone is looking at me, mom!"

"What is it you want me to do here? Be cute? CHECK."

"What is this? Food? Why is it in the middle of the floor? What is UP with you people?"

"I think I can, I think I can." This whole thing went on for 10 minutes or more.

"This fondant has an odd taste. What are you doing to me?"

"Not bad. You guys didn't mention there was sugar in cake. You're holding out on me. YUM."

"Whoa dude. Wow. That's all I can say. Is this some alternate universe? You guys said it was my birthday but I don't know what to do with this."

"Mission accomplished. Now do you guys have any waffles? I'm STARVING."

The End.

oh my oh my oh dinosaurs

My baby is one. Have I mentioned that? You know when they say the first year is the hardest? Yeah suckas, I'm done with it. I'm torn right in the middle of being relieved and being just plain sad. I want my baby back. WAH. The party was a blast and we were so lucky have so many important people in our lives there to wish my Bubba a Happy Birthday. I'm going to post just the party decorations  in this post follwed by the birthday boy and his cake followed by pictures of the partygoers. Blog material for NaBloPoMo, yo.

First things first, the cake. My mom and dad worked like slaves with me to make this a reality. My favorite times with my mom in the last few years have been getting ready for the kids' birthday parties. She likes planning and doing it as much as I do and we have so much fun. She comes a day early and we putz around and drink wine. LOVE YOU, mom and dad!

The cupcakes. Renee was like a rabid dog trying to get at the cupcakes before the party. I thought she might just lose her mind with anticipation. And you know what she liked? THE FONDANT. WEIRDO.

I also made these ice cream cone cupcakes because I saw them on some site somewhere and thought they were cute. I thought the kids would go crazy and most of the kids wanted regular cupcakes. The adults liked them though :)

I've been bad at creating traditions for my kids that I follow through on every year. But I have vowed to make a banner for each of their birthdays with a picture for every month of the year. I love reflecting on their past year and it is fun for everyone to see how much they've changed.

Little water bottles with dinosaur stickers.

The silverware.

Party favors. Stickers, bubbles, candy and a toy dinosaur.

We had lasagna, bread and salad that I made ahead and froze and it was so much easier than trying to grill the day of.

Such a cute party for such a cute little one year old!

dear cameron

Dear Cameron,
 
Your turning one year old has different implications for me than your sister turning one. It has different implications because when she turned one, you were already almost 20 weeks old growing big and strong in my belly. I knew then that it was only a short matter of time before I would get to watch another of my babies have their first birthday. But now, this time, there is no other baby except you. There is no baby growing in my belly and it feels so final. It feels like the end of an era, the end of the baby days in our house and some days, on the hardest of hard days, I welcome that change. But then there are the great days, the days where I sit back and watch you stumble around learning to walk and talk and I watch as your relationship with your big sister starts to blossom, that I hold on to you so tightly that my knuckles are white never wanting you to grow a single inch bigger. I get choked up on that lump that’s always sitting there in my throat just thinking about it being over. When I rock you to sleep tonight I imagine I'll cry harder and mourn longer because tonight you turn from baby to toddler. And tonight my baby-rearing days are more-than-likely over.
 
The baby days are not over because I couldn't stand to have one or two more of you around. Because I would, if given the opportunity, take five more babies exactly like you. They are likely over because of your perfection, because I want to spend every minute of the rest of my life focusing my attention on you and your sister. You are enough, you are more than enough; I like to think you completed our family on that crisp November day a year ago today.
 
This year whizzed by in the blink of an eye as I imagine every year of the rest of my life will. One day I woke up after the hormones had worn off and my body had adjusted to never sleeping and there you were. You with your beautiful, big blue eyes that take up your whole face and your insanely handsome smile and the delicacy of your baby skin brushing up against my lips. I won’t ever forget it; I promise myself that, I will tell my mind over and over again to remember each and every detail of the baby you are today.
 
I won’t ever forget how hard you are to hold, always diving and grabbing and just so (overwhelmingly sometimes) BUSY. You are all boy from your infatuation with balls and electronics and toy cars to how aggressively you shovel your food into your mouth making the biggest mess of biggest messes. At least once a week when he’s cleaning up your high chair, your Dad says, “Bubby really outdid himself tonight; I think this is his biggest mess ever.” We don’t have much time to reflect on the grandness of that statement, your biggest mess ever, because before he can get the words out of his mouth we’ll look over and you’ll have climbed your little baby butt onto a chair and will be standing there on the armrest chewing on the lamp cord. I don’t know where you got your nose for trouble but baby proofing took on a whole new meaning the day you came home.
 
I never thought I’d know another love like I feel for your sister but you proved me wrong. From the minute you came rushing out and your dad looked at me with this totally humbled, astonished and purely excited look on his face and said “It’s a BOY, can you believe we have a SON” to today, the day that I watch you blow out your first birthday candle. You have my heart, son, what was left to give, I gave to you.

You have always made me work harder for your affection than your sister did and in some ways that makes me want you all the more. I pout sometimes when you make it clear that you want Daddy to read your books and give you your bottle before bed because I long to hold you, to kiss your sweet cheeks, to try over and over again to explain to you just how much I love you. I may never get the words right, Cameron, but I’ll never quit trying.
 
Happy Birthday, my sweet, my Bubby, my little baby boy.
Mama

in seventeen years or so...

The beverage of choice may change but the rest of the scene could be so much of the same. There he'll be, my little man, lounging on the couch flipping through the channels with no pants on pounding back a few cold ones.

 

ribbit, ribbit, moo, moo

I may have mentioned this already (give me a break, I'm on serious pain medication) but my plan was for Renee and Cameron to go as Chicken and Beef for Halloween. It totally fits their personalities and represents what they like to eat and I got a good solid couple of hours of laughs out of the idea of it. But then Renee started hopping around saying Ribbit! Ribbit! asking to be a frog on Halloween and I had to remind myself that it is about HER and not about ME. So there you have it, Frog and Beef.

She wants today and tomorrow and every day to be Halloween. The SECOND she gets home from daycare she says "Can I have a piece of candy now? PLEASE?" I'm already tired of saying no over and over and over again. Damn cute ribbiting frog though, huh?
 
And oh my god, Cameron the Cow. HAHAHAHAH. You should have seen him crawl around in this costume. Ski and I both laughed for HOURS about it.

And one of them together. I bribed them with candy to sit there and let me take their picture and I still didn't get it quite right. 
 
No pictures of trick or treating (because I? Am a totally awesome mother) but here's one of carving pumpkins which she had ZERO interest in. Other than the flameless tealights that she played with for HOURS. Maybe next year...I seem to say that a lot :)

She did demand a Black Cat pumpkin and surprise, surprise, she got what she wanted.