We interrupt the cuteness to bring you some complaining

So I seem to have really done a number on my back. I'm totally helpless, can't even lift my children, can't change a fucking diaper. Heck, for all intensive purposes I can't even walk.

I feel pathetic every time I struggle to pry open that little bottle of habit forming painkillers. I count the pills wondering what's going to happen when they run out.

Will they give me more? Because what will I do if they don't?

I try to throw myself into online Christmas shopping, Christmas calendars, anything to make the time pass quickly by.

But I can't concentrate. All I can do is fret about the look on my little girl's face when she asks for me, when she wants me to hold her and all I can do is rub the top of her pretty little head and tell her I love her.

What is going to happen with work? Short term disability, what if it comes to that?

I can't even think about it. I can't. I want my life back. I want to hold my babies and to hug them without pain. I want to make my baby a cake for his very first birthday.

But I can't. All I can do is lay here and write blog posts on my tiny little iphone screen.

And count the minutes until I can pry that pill bottle open again.

Comments

[Melissa]

I'm sorry sweetie! I wish I was closer; I'd come over and hang out with you. Hang in there, you'll be better soon!

[anne]

Wow, this sounds bad. And all from picking up a laundry basket?? Have you considered chiropractic? No idea if they'd be able to do anything, but perhaps a consultation wouldn't hurt. I hope you feel better soon!

[Davina]

I agree with Anne, sometimes it does the trick no matter how beat up you are. Wish I could come visit and help you out.

[Nicole]

Yikes! How awful. I hope you are up and around soon (and I 3rd the chiropractor!)