tft: grocery budget directly to garbage can

I've fallen into a trap I swore I wouldn't fall into: I cook three meals almost every night.

One for Cameron, one for Renee and one for us.

Cameron's is because he is Mr. Sensitive and I can't give him dairy or really anything at all without him flipping out and being awake all night trying to fart. I'm fine with making him something because he sleeps if I keep to what works and that sleep is worth anything to me.

I know it is a bad idea to make something special for Renee and I know that is one of the reasons why I'm a raging lunatic but I don't know what to do about it. She doesn't eat much of anything and what she will eat, I will not eat. Well, I would but then the 20 pounds I would have to lose would turn to 30 and Lord knows the 20 is going to be hard enough to lose.

When I find the energy to care enough to try to lose it.

But that day is not today and probably not tomorrow either.

I don't care.

I guarantee we throw away at least half of the food we buy each month and I am SICK OF IT.

Tell me, what do your kids eat? What sort of portions? Do you really starve them until they eat last night's broccoli? Or is that one of those things the hardasses say they do because it makes them feel powerful when in reality they are suckers just like me? Do you put a fruit, vegetable, protein, carb and dairy on every plate for every meal and do they ever eat it?

I obsess about balancing their meals and it is making me crazy. And poor. Because I throw it all away.

Comments

[The Mommy]

Boy, do I feel your pain! It was a big, big day for me when I could serve the three older kids the same meal (which, incidentally, is RARELY the same thing that my husband and I eat). I like protein pasta (we like bowties - which we call butterfly pasta) because that works for all of them and I feel like I cover most of the bases if I put tomato sauce and Parmesan cheese on it. They ALWAYS eat yogurt with every meal (because they don't like milk. Yes, really). I try all that "give it a cute name" crap and the only thing that has worked is the chicken lollipops.

I just finished cooking eggs for two of the kids and fishsticks for the other (healthy, I know) and Greg and I will eat something else. And sometimes WE don't even eat the same thing. {SIGH} It's insane. I can't wait until they can cook for me!

[kim]

max eats what we eat. although sometimes we'll add to his meal an apple, piece of string cheese, etc that tom and i are not having. but he gets what we have on his plate too, always, even if i'm about 95% sure he's not going to touch it (because sometimes he surprises me). if he doesn't eat what we give him, he doesn't get anything else. because then i figure he's not hungry enough. some meals he'll have about two bites, and that's fine. if he does that he almost always had a big lunch, or will make up for it the next day.

i'm not super hardcore about it, i just don't think it's worth the battle to fight over food. so we keep offering, and we don't say much if he doesn't eat it. most of the time he does pretty good. once in awhile if tom or i have something he doesn't, and he asks us for some of ours, (like if i'm having juice and he's having milk), then we'll give into bargaining a little bit and say 'if you have two bites of your X you can have a bit of Y.' but i really don't want to start going down that road.

as for balancing, i figure i could put it all on his plate and he might not eat it anyway (and i'm not going to do anything about it), so i don't worry that sometimes he might not have a certain food group.

my mom forced me to eat my vegetables (gag) and it honestly took me until my mid 20s to actually want to eat them on my own. so i'm not going to do that with my kids... no sitting at the table until your plate is clean. but he doesn't get a meal of his own, either. take it or leave it. :)

[Nicole]

My practices are similar to Kim's - I don't short-order cook for either kid, and will instead add things to their plate that I know they will eat if they are picking at the meal I served (apple slices, dried fruit, yogurt, etc.) I don't force the kids to eat anything they don't want to, but there are rules that go along with it: (1) there are no 2nd helpings of anything until everything else has been eaten and (2) on the rare ocassions that we are having dessert, none is given unless their plates are clean.

That being said, I am very, very lucky . . . my kids are great eaters in terms of variety, and will generally try anything once (we had steak, parsnips, and sweet potatoes a couple of weeks ago . . . Maren polished off a 4 ounces cut BY HERSELF. And then asked for more.)

In terms of balancing . . . I generally give a fruit or veggie at every meal and they always get a serving of everything that is made - though it doesn't always get eaten.

Recent 'finds' for us to help at mealtime: dipping is a very good thing, anything on the end of a toothpick is AWESOME, pureed baby food can be added to almost anything (ie., peas to spagehtti sauce), and Horizon now makes yogurt that is blended with both fruit and vegetables (strawberry plus carrot is Cooper's favorite.)

[Danielle]

I try not to make anything seperate for Jack. He too can be picky, but with every meal I have a fruit/vegetable(which he is good at eating), and the main course. I figure if he doesn't eat what we have, he get's his protein with the milk he drinks. We make him at least "try" a bite of what we're eating. Bribes work very well with Jack too. We say "If you eat 3 more bites, you can have a treat". The only time we'll make something different is if it's something messy like taco or something. It's a constant baddle isn't it?

[Kelli]

Mealtime is rough at our house too. I also feel your pain! We have a little different problem on our hands - Henry has a super strong gag reflex, and throws up at just about everything. So, basically, if we want him to eat EVER, we have to give him something that won't make him gag - chicken nuggets, hot dogs, sausage, occasionally beef or regular chicken. Forget eggs, pasta, or anything soft. And the only vegetables he'll eat is corn and cucumbers. Yogurt and fruit he'll eat all day long, but its a battle I'm not willing to fight serving him anything else after a long day of work. Call me a bad mom, but he's growing fine, and content most of the time - I can't be doing anything all that horrible.

We'll see if number two is any better. ; )

[Nicole Barczak]

Our kids eat what we eat, whether it be Cheeseburger Mac, steak, enchiladas or grilled chicken etc. Ryan and I aren't huge veggie/fruit eaters so the boys actually have much more balanced meals than us. I usually try to include a veggie and fruit with their dinner (When I pack lunches, though, typically yes I do include a grain, meat, dairy, fruit and veggie.... but mainly b/c I shop specifically for foods for their lunches). Like some of the previous posters said... if I make something I don't think they will eat much of (or don't like that much) they have to try one bite and if they don't eat it, they can eat their fruit, string cheese, veggies, yogurt etc... otherwise, they know breakfast is in the morning. Last night, for example, I didn't want to cook so I opened a can of Chunky Veggie Beef soup. We aren't huge soup eaters so its not a highly loved meal of theirs. I knew Porter would eat no problem... he's my huge eater, but Hudson is a bit pickier than Porter. I also gave them crackers, cheese and banana with their soup. Hudson only ate his cheese, crackers and half a banana. That's all he had for dinner.

As far as portions... my kids can pack it away. Hudson has been known to eat 2 hot dogs plus all sorts of sides.

The only time I cook anything different for them is if Ryan is gone and I don't feel like eating dinner right then... I'll whip up something quick for the boys (grilled cheese, pbj, quesadillas etc).

[Leslie Collins]

I don't make anything special for Reyna. She is not a picky eater at all. If we are eating a one dish meal that night, I will usually give her a couple of small sides like extra fruit or veggies.

As far as portions, I give her a little of everything and give her seconds if she finishes whatever is on her plate.

[anne]

I don't have much to add that hasn't already been said. I feel very lucky that Ryan has always been an awesome eater; thus, he eats the exact same meals that we eat. I despise planning and cooking that ONE dinner a day- there's no way I'd short order cook and prepare him something separate. If he's refusing to eat something, or is eating too much bread or whatever instead of his veggies, I just say "no more bread till veggies are eaten" or whatever. I've also been known to turn his dinner plate into a 'worker-man site' where the excavator has to dig up piles of food and load it into Ryan's mouth:) That actually works!
That said, I don't force him to eat anything. I think a lot of food issues can develop that way. I was always forced to drink all my milk, and the result of that was I now despise milk.