My daughter is the sweetest little thing on planet earth. I laugh at her dialogue, marvel at her intelligence, shower her with hugs and kisses and feel like we won the jackpot the day she was born.
About ninety percent of the time.
The other ten percent of the time she is a raging lunatic, being defiant at every turn and throwing temper tantrums for no apparent reason. It's totally irrational, completely random and by far the most frustrating thing I have gone through as a mother.
Well, other than the not sleeping for longer than four hours in a row for eleven consecutive months.
And that time I tried to nurse a vampire. For EIGHT MONTHS.
OK, so maybe it's not the worst thing I've gone through but it is the worst thing going on right now.
She doesn't like the clothes that I pick out for her. She SCREAMS as I try to get her dressed. I tell her to pick out her own clothes, anything at all in her closet. She screams some more. She doesn't know what she wants. She just wants to scream, I think.
She demands one more book before bed but refuses to pick out a book and hates every book that I suggest. She's stalling, I know this, but I just don't see any good solution other than to put her in bed and let her flip out. Because she's going to flip out regardless of what I do. But then I hate putting her to bed crying. And I WANT to read books to her, ANY book, as many books as she likes. She just wants to argue even though I am trying to give her what she wants. Except I don't know what she wants. She just wants to scream, I think.
She doesn't like the food I make for dinner or the show that I let her watch before bed. What I should say is that she likes the food just fine but she doesn't want to eat it at the table like she's supposed to. I assume this is solely because I asked her to eat at the table. If it's her idea, great; if it's mine, WATCH THE FRICK OUT.
I always pick wrong. Everything I choose is exactly what she doesn't want.
Is there a solution? Is this just what happens with kids when they turn two and I just have to try to not lose my fricking mind and wait until she grows out of the defiance? Is that all there is to this mothering crap, just wait until they go through their growing pains and hope that they come out of it decent people?
Ava's not even two yet and she refused to get dressed for daycare this morning. So, instead of fighting with her, she went to daycare in her pajama's. I totally feel your pain!
Posted by: Melissa | October 06, 2009 at 03:15 PM
This is exactly what I'm experiencing with my daughter. You described it so well. She's 2.5 and terribly defiant. Whatever I, or someone else, suggests is wrong and watch out. It has to be her idea. Even if I give her choices, she doesn't like them...
Posted by: Cara | October 06, 2009 at 04:59 PM
Right now Baby Girl is wearing her pajama shirt and a diaper. She didn't like ANY of the clothes I picked out this morning and I'm afraid to ask what she wants to wear (it's almost always her Minnie Mouse pajamas that are too small). I so feel your pain.
Earlier this week we were showing off our (almost) carpet in the basement to my relatives. Baby Girl didn't want to go upstairs but I gave her two choices - walk or be carried. NO! So I scooped her up and carried her. She threw a tantrum but I'm immune to those these days so I ignored it (almost ALWAYS the right thing to do), but my aunt, who never had children, literally got sick to her stomach because she couldn't handle it. She told me I should just take her back down and let her walk up. Um, no. If you give them an inch you are doomed. For days and days. This is the main reason why I try not to rely on her for baby-sitting any more. It takes me FOREVER to make the kids realize that whining? IS NOT going to get you what you want. {SIGH}
Parenting is hard. This, too, shall pass...and right on its heels will be some new "skill" ;) You're doing great. Hang on to the 90 percent!
Posted by: The Mommy | October 07, 2009 at 06:58 AM
The terrible two's are no fun. And just wait, the terrible 2.5's are even worse, like Cara said above. Then, you feel bad giving in to them because its all you can do to handle the screaming and crying, and it becomes a vicious (VICIOUS!!!) cycle.
Henry's new thing is complaining about Poo in his diaper, then when I go to change it, screaming and writhing causing poop to get all over the place. Joy!
But we love them unconditionally, nevertheless!!!
Posted by: Kelli | October 07, 2009 at 07:56 AM
Um did you read this?? http://fatj.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/whats-new-with-ryan/
Yeah. Twos. SO FUN. Thank god Ryan's a boy and could care less what he wears. At least I still have that:)
Posted by: anne | October 08, 2009 at 05:37 PM