we thought she was a goner

We were leaving town to head south to Mankato to celebrate little Sam's first birthday on Saturday morning when we noticed she was missing. Ski came upstairs and said, "Have you seen Sasha anywhere? Because I can't find her." And my heart sort of sunk because for the last couple of days I had been feeling like something was wrong. I was having a hard time sleeping at night and everything and that is VERY rare for me. Something seemed out of place but I couldn't put a finger on what it was. 

We thought back and felt really guilty when we realized that it had been over a day since either of could remember seeing her. We went outside and called for her and talked to some of our neighbors to find out that she had been on one of their doorsteps meowing and crying on Thursday night. TWO ENTIRE DAYS AGO. We didn't notice that our cat had been missing for over 24 hours.

We bowed out of conversation with the neighbor and headed for the safety of the house, each of us holding one of our very confused children. We sat down on the floor of the basement and we cried. We mourned our girl, the cat that had been with us for almost six years now. The cat that I have often threatened to sell on ebay.

After putting up some missing cat signs, stashing food around the yard and the garage, we headed south, me clutching my cell phone hoping that it would ring with good news. I spent the entire drive reliving every bad thing I've ever said about her, feeling guilty that I didn't find the time more often to pet her and to make her feel loved. We talked about when they were babies, about how she used to curl up on my neck and try to suck, having been weaned from her mommy and abandoned way to early and about how she still to this day prefers the crook of my neck for sleeping. We talked about how I used to get up in the middle of the night to warm her up a cup of milk and about how I'd sit there with her while she drank it promising her that I would be her mommy and that I would always take care of her. She was my first baby, Sasha.

I've failed at that promise since Cameron was born, never having a spare lap or a spare hand or even a spare thought to spend paying attention to my pets. The guilt swallowed me.

And then, around 5PM, the phone rang and when I heard Ski say "That's great news," I cried all over again. Because the cat was back. And I get another chance to make good on that promise, that promsie to always take care of her.

Comments

[AmandaH]

I'm so glad you got her back!