the (unexpected) part about blogging

First, I want to say thank-you to those that commented on my downer of a post a couple of days ago or reached out in other ways, a phone call, an email, anything to say "Hey, I've been there. Hang in there."

Misery loves company and hearing that I am not the only one, that I am not a total freak, helped immensely. Whether you are another blogger, a sister, an old friend, thanks.

I guess that's why I posted it. I needed help. I couldn't expect my husband to be the sole bearer of my cross anymore. I needed someone else to know what I was going through, someone else to lend an ear or a kind word. Because I could see it weighing on him and I could feel it weighing on our marriage.  

I started blogging almost two years ago with one purpose in mind: To preserve my feelings and thoughts on being pregnant and becoming a mom for my children to look back on someday. That's it. I actually remember being annoyed by other bloggers at the time who were all about 'selling their blogs and building a readership' because that really wasn't my purpose. If they didn't like reading my monthly posts about my kids, they could go read something else.

But, then my kids were born and the nature of having small children is alienating. You lose touch. There isn't enough time to keep up with everyone you've ever met no matter how bad you want to. The children go to bed at 8PM and if the party doesn't start until 7:30PM, we probably aren't going to make it. If the friendships of the past aren't strong enough to be held together with a phone call here and there or a once a month email, the friendship dies. It's not anyone's fault...it is just the way it is. And the loneliness sets in. Or at least it did for me.

But, there were these other bloggers with children the same age as my mine. Or people who remember what it felt like to have a newborn and know what it feels like to have an eighteen month old. And they reached out to me. They sent kind words and offered to go out for a drink with me or they emailed to see if I wanted to get out of the house to go to the museum. And there were plenty of others who I can't link to because they don't have blogs or I am running out of space. They offered an escape with no strings attatched. Where people that I have known my entire life may not know the words to say to make me feel better, complete strangers reached out. 

And I realized the impact that blogging has had on me. I realized the power in numbers. I realized that reading your blogs and getting to know your children has made me feel less alone, like my child is not the only one throwing tantrums every fifteen seconds. I realized that kind words from a stranger can have the same effect, or sometimes even greater effect, than kind words from a friend.

For what you did for me and my children earlier this week, thanks. If I didn't respond, know that I read every word. And I appreciated every single word. And know that today is a much sunnier day than last Friday because of you.

Comments

[lib]

glad you are feeling better, gina! i feel the same way and i also feel like the second you have kids you become part of this club, like a 'mom' club...where other moms just GET the things you are going through...
hope renee and cam are doing great!

[The Mommy]

Things will just keep getting easier. Everyone has those days but you knew you needed to vent and you did. Both are very good things. It's when someone doesn't that I think they get into trouble (and seriously start considering the bridge).

I am always grateful that you suggested that I start a blog. It's like a community where you rarely get judged and mostly get encouraged. And you get to "meet" people who you would otherwise not know. I'm getting to watch a great niece and nephew grow up simply because of this! Amazing, huh?

And seriously, I can whip up a batch of cookies tomorrow if you need 'em...

[jenny]

i think one of the greatest things about blogging is the 'friendship' you have with the people you might not have ever met - but somehow they just GET what you are going through.

hoping that the days keep getting brighter. :)

[AmandaH]

Very glad you are feeling better!

[Davina]

Hope you're days are better today, tomorrow and from now on. I know I may not comment all the time, but I hope you know that I'm here for you (as much as I can be for 1500 miles away:) I'm sure things are stressful, overwhelming and frustrating, but i know you, you are the one person that can handle it all. You've always been and will be very strong willed, and if you don't feel so, and you need someone to lean on, you know where to go and we'll all be here. I'm sure there are many like me that are checking up on you every day:) Take care my friend, luv ya!!!

[Nicole]

I am glad to hear that today is better. And while I would love to wish you nothing but better days to come, we both know that the reality of that happening with two children under the age of 2 is about as likely as either one of us winning the lottery! Keep up the good work and lean on us anytime you need to - I am so glad that we can be here for you!

[Nicole]

Hang in there... it gets better.

[Sus (wigglerooms)]

It's TRUE, isn't it? That's what I found so unexpected and wonderful about blogging, too. I wanted to talk over the fences to other mothers, but my neighbors are retired French professors. So here I am in cyber space instead.

I love your pictures - especially the one of the boys with the milk at the counter. :)

And, I ALWAYS call my girlfriends who are about 3 months into new babies - that's when it all falls apart for me. I mean, 3 sleepless months and you still have a tiny infant on your hands and GEEZ it sucks. I hear ya. In another year you'll be much, much better. Wish I could bake you a big casserole.

Thanks for stopping by my place. I feel as if I just met a new friend at the party that started at 7:30.