i guess this means she's a big girl now

It happened suddenly. Tell me you see it. Because I wept when I processed this picture.

She's a big girl. The baby is gone. My BABY has been replaced by this LITTLE GIRL. She wears jeans and black Mary Janes with rhinestones that she absolutely ADORES and a pink peacoat that makes my head explode from the cuteness.

That little baby that used to whine and cry when I gave her a hug and a kiss on my way out for work in the morning now flashes me a big six tooth grin and waves. Like, "Cool Mom. Later. I'll see you when you come to pick me up."

Ski dropped her off at daycare this morning. One of her buddies had been gone for a couple of weeks and she looked at him like "I'm glad your back" and then walked over and plopped down next to him and started playing cars, complete with car sounds.

We left her with a babysitter so we could go out for an anniversary dinner and she waved at us as we were leaving and greeted us with a big smile when we returned. No tears. No fear. Just "Well, I'm glad you're home so I can go to bed now, I'm exhausted." She had a snack, I put her in her crib and closed the door and she went to bed. Just like that. No nursing. No bottle. No rocking. No singing. No Mommy required.

This is what we've been working towards.

To help her to understand that her Dad and I will never ever leave her and that no matter what, we'll always come back.

To make her feel comfortable enough to be even a little bit independent and confident and sure of herself.

It's here and it has turned me in to the baby. 

I wonder if I'll ever look at her and see anything other than that five pound alien that came out of my womb or if I'll ever forget how for a short time, for a bit over a year, we were one. I sustained her physically with milk from my own body as well as emotionally as she became upset almost the instant she sensed it from me.

Now she has emotions and experiences that are entirely her own. She has friends. She understands now that I am not the beginning and the end of her world. I am just someone to help her along the way.

I've been learning to let go since the minute she was born. It doesn't get any easier but I have to do it for her. Because I don't want her to feel even the slightest bit guilty for growing up and becoming the person she wants to become.

Comments

[Nicole]

That was beautiful! (And that is all I can think of to say - yes, yes, yes!)

[jessica]

ok, you've made me tear up. most of them = my thoughts exactly with my independent princess.

[jenny]

it is just crazy that each day i see more and more of the little boy tucker is, than the baby he was. it does make you sad.

that's why i love photography - because you can stop that moment and have it forever in your capture. aaaaaah.

[Pocklock]

You totally made me cry! What a sweet post. What a sweet little girl! Great photo too!

[lib]

she is such a cute little girl. i know EXACTLY how you feel. where does the time go?

[Jennifer]

I just had this not that long ago with Tanner. Just all of a sudden it hit me. My baby is a little boy. When did it happen??? So crazy how fast that time flies.