beanski

uncle carl's chair

Uncle Carl made Renee this beautiful chair by hand. It was inspired by a chair from the turn of the century recovered from an old school house. What better day to post a picture of it than on his birthday? Happy Birthday, Uncle Carl and thanks for the incredibly beautiful chair!

goosy is one

Miss Lucy Goose turned one on the 15th but we got the crew to celebrate yesterday. It was fun to watch her very slowly and deliberately work on her super cute cupcake cake. Cupcake cake...haha. Happy Birthday to the Goose!

OHMYGOD, is she cute or what? It is almost physically impossible for me to do a black and white of Lucy because her eyes are some of the bluest eyes I have ever seen. But I'm posting both versions because frankly, I love them both. What do you think?

    

the girl's room

I am getting ready to move Renee's gender neutral, half finished nursery into the baby's new bedroom and as a result of that am having a blast picking out new stuff for her room. It is true that doing a girlie room is more fun than doing something that can go either way. I feel moderately guilty about the baby starting off it's little life with hand-me-downs but then I tell myself that I was the THIRD of three daughters and I'm pretty sure I owned approximentally one new item in my entire life and managed to live through it. I'm sure The Fetus will too. Speaking of The Fetus, STOP KICKING ME IN THE BLADDER ALREADY.

I got the pleasure of buying a second crib because the little thing was in such a dad gum hurry to get here SEVENTEEN MONTHS after it's sister and I'm going to refresh the old nursery with some new wall items and some new storage solutions so it is indeed getting a few new things. Oh and the walls will be yellow instead of green so that's like totally different, right? I feel better now.

Back to The Girl's room. I started out wanting butterflies. I wanted to use these fabrics (minus the blue one). How cute is it? CUTE.
 

I searched high and low and Hobby Lobby is the only place that carries those fabrics and after waiting well over a month for the fabric to be restocked (it was on backorder), I gave up and re-started my search.

This ended up being a good thing because I found someone on etsy that has just as cute stuff, allowed me to fully customize my order and is going to make it all for me. I haven't seen the finished product so I'm a bit hesitant to go on and on about SwellByStephanie but she was very patient with my indecisiveness and even ordered two fabrics that I wanted incorporated into the quilt without charging me extra. Ski should be scared of the number of hours I have spent on etsy recently. Wait until I get into buying handmade dresses and hair ties for the girl. OHMYGOD. We are going to be filing for bankruptcy at some point, I'm just sure of it. I'm not sure why God felt compelled to give me a girl but he really should have known better and felt some degree of pity for my husband. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT.

These are the fabrics that I picked. The Apples and Pears (upper left) is going to be the main fabric for the sheets and most of the details in her room, the stripe will be used for the bedskirt and the others will be incorporated into a quilt.

Fantastically cute, no?  Two days after I placed my (non-returnable) order with Swell, the butterfly fabric came in. OF COURSE IT DID. I am taking it as a sign that some higher power thought me making the bedding myself was a terrible idea. I think I could incorporate the butterflies as the color palette is the same but we'll see how the quilt turns out and go from there. I have been collecting matching picture frames and hampers and storage bins. Even though I wanted turquoise and pink, I settled for green and pink so that the hubs didn't have to repaint her already green room. THE THINGS I DO FOR LOVE.

playing catch up on summer photos

I am SO FAR behind on pictures that I want to barf all over this keyboard. I feel like I haven't edited ANY of my pictures.

Griffin and his train cake on his birthday. He clapped and cheesed it up. And then inhaled a volume of sugar equal to the weight of his head.

And one of Sam because he went and got big and I haven't shared his cuteness with you all in FAR TOO LONG. 
 

The Chief bought herself a new pontoon boat this summer so we've been busy playing on that every chance we get. She lets my dad drive it but makes it clear that it is HERS.

It's like a giant, fenced in, moving playpen for the kids and it guarantees one of them will fall asleep within seconds of leaving the dock. When you are right on the border of being outnumbered by the FIVE CHILDREN UNDER 3.5 (soon to be six), any one of them sleeping is considered a gift from God. Next summer when I can chug beers aboard will be even better.

Charlie checking everything out.

And one riding up front with Grandma. 

Griffin in action. I'm not sure why this one makes me laugh but it does. More than once. 

Griffin and Daddy.

Sarah and Mommy (on Little Cita's first birthday)

Annie and Sam. Sam is the quietest, nicest baby on the planet. I have been having him lay on my stomach and talk to my baby. "Cousin, PLEASE be good. PLEASE. Auntie is already crazy enough."

Papa and his co-pilot.

My super cute nephews waiting for the chippies.

And the hubs and Renee in her fluorescent orange life jacket. The girl looks concerned for her life but she really shouldn't be. You can see that life jacket with the naked eye from like FIVE MILES away.

I can hardly believe Labor Day is on Monday. Summer, why must you go so fast?       

25 hours of freedom

Until Saturday, I had never been away from the little monster longer than it takes me to drive to work, work eight hours and drive to daycare to pick her up. Ever. There have been a handful of nights that I haven't been there at bedtime but in (almost) fourteen months, I had been there every morning to scoop her up and sing Good, Good Morning with lots of hugs and kisses.

This is not something I am necessarily proud of but I am not ashamed of it either. It's just the way it was. I have every excuse in the book: I was nursing for most of her life, I didn't have anywhere I wanted to go, I am a home-body and a creature of habit and being at home in our little routine (even with screaming baby) is more relaxing to me than being gone. Well ALMOST.

Saturday morning I got up, fed her breakfast, gave her approximentally 700 hugs and kisses and then got in the car and headed to the big city for a girl's night with my friend Gretch. As I was driving, I marveled in the quietness. And the fact that stopping to pee didn't involve either waking her up or giving her that glimpse of freedom that would inevitably result in her screaming for the remainder of the drive. And that Bright Eyes was acceptable listening material. I didn't have to worry about lunch or dinner or second breakfast. Or morning nap or afternoon nap or OHMYGOD did she get enough fluids today?

It was bliss. Did I miss her? Yes. Did I have the urge to stop what I was doing and go home? No, not even once.

I had a great, kid-free day with my girl Gretch and we did a bit of shopping and a lot of eating and I got to hang out and hear about her wedding plans without Hurricane Renee monopolizing at least 77% of my listening capacity. I got to eat at restaurants that aren't full of french fry throwing kids screaming for more ketchup.  

Sunday morning I got up prepared to do some more shopping before heading home and you know what I did? I drove north. I wanted to give my girl and her daddy a good morning hug and kiss and to spend at least one of my weekend days with her.

the pets you love to hate

There are two fury creatures of the feline persuasion that allow us to live with them in their house. Their names are The Little Boy With the Gray Fur and The Assassin. Well, those aren’t their REAL names but that is what we call them. I can’t wait for the day that Mu Shu goes to school and tells her teacher that she has a cat named The Assassin. An all-black cat named The Assassin. That will be a good day.

We adopted them as kitties almost five years ago when we moved from Minneapolis to Duluth. They became our babies and we spoiled them with love and attention. They sleep on my head. They wake us up at 4AM just to remind us that they are still there and that they need some love. I swore when we decided to have kids that I wouldn’t neglect my kitties and that I would always find the time to love on them.

Can you see where this is going?

OHMYGODIMGOINGTOFREAKINGKILLONEOFTHEMONEOFTHESEDAYS. There I said it. Mu Shu was whining in her bed this morning at 5AM like she couldn’t get comfie so I went in to return her blankie as her blankie is like her pacifier and if she doesn’t have it in her hand/mouth, she wakes up crying until we get it for her. Can someone tell me why I avoided the pacifier only to be saddled with this blankie fetish? Off subject I know but CRIPES.

The Assassin herself was IN MY BABY’S CRIB rubbing her face on my baby’s face. She was all rubbing on her like she does to Ski or I when she wants attention. And Mu Shu was crying and trying to say without waking up completely PLEASE GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE. She couldn't get back to sleep after that and the entire morning was a DISASTER. She screamed about the food on her plate. She screamed about being put in her car seat. Ski described her tantrum over getting her diaper changed as a 'Top 3 Complete With Foot Stomping.'

What do I do with this? A crib tent seems like something Mu Shu might not like on her crib at this point and I can’t sit in her room all night, can I? What about the new baby? The new baby who won’t know to cry and whine until we go in there and get the stupid freaking cat out of his/her face.

This isn’t the only thing they do. The Assassin claws on my (new) furniture because we were all stupid and naïve and we could shoot ourselves for not getting their claws taken out when they were babies. But now, you know, we’ll be evil pet owners if we do it because they are older and we’ll for sure change their temperament and they’ll never be the same. The Gray One paces in and out of her room and meows periodically when she is napping and does the same thing EVERY BLESSED MORNING at 4AM trying to see who he can stir out of bed. I honestly think he is trying to wake her up just to spite me. I have tried everything. Water bottles, showering them with love, ignoring them completely, locking them in the basement. Nothing works.

I don’t want to hate them. Because I love them. But I honestly don’t know what to do next.

I have heard a lot of grumblings about pets after people have kids. Do our pets become the thorn in our sides after we have children? Is it guilt? Does anyone know can I love my cats again?

not too sure about those cherry tomatoes

I LOVE cherry tomatoes and am physically incapable of getting them into the house without eating all of them. I don't even bother to wash them. Renee busted me eating one yesterday and demanded one of her own.

First, she worshipped her treasure. Then she went in for the kill and took a big bite. And then she winced. I don't think she's sold on cherry tomatoes but I plan on breaking her down over time.

And a couple of me and my girl because I have exactly two other pictures of the two of us one taken in August and one in January. I swear the kid is going to think that I wasn't even there for her childhood. I can assure you, kid, I WAS THERE, I WAS THE ONE DOING ALL OF THE STINKING WORK.
 

Oh and baby? Hasn't anyone told you that the mullet isn't cool?

Don't believe what they say, Mommy likes it just the way it is.

slave labor and the crap fairies

I swear to the gods that there is a little fairy that sneaks in to our house in the middle of the night and deposits useless piles of crap all over our house. I swear it. Somehow, over the course of the last few years, the crap fairies have filled the basement to the point where one could hardly walk through it because it was so full of toy/diaper boxes and furniture that we have replaced upstairs and baby clothes that Renee has outgrown. I mean, the crap fairy's daughter has outgrown. I have contacted that show Clean Sweep on TLC and they have been ignoring me. It is THAT out of control.

We have talked a lot about fixing it up so that we could put an extra bedroom down there as it is a walk out with a decent amount of light and the baby that is currently kicking me in the bladder is going to be monopolizing our only guest room at least for a while. But we can't really hire someone to come in and sheetrock and put in new carpet if we can't find time to move the stuff out of there.

I just about sat down on the floor and cried when the plumber told me about the pipe troubles and not really because of the money. Because I just didn't see how logistically Ski and I were going to be able to move everything out of there in one week's time so that they could actually get at the floor to jackhammer to the pipes.

What did I do?

I called my Mommy and Daddy. I bit the bullet and asked for help for the first time in a long time. They showed up on Friday night and they worked like slaves for two entire days organizing and purging and making countless trips to the dump and the Goodwill. And I want to cry when I walk through there because I am so grateful for the fact that you can see the floor and that I won't be panicking in November because I have no idea where the breast pump is. They even organized the garage. I don't know how to say thank you other than getting down on the floor and kissing their feet but I plan on coming up with something. Does anyone have any good ideas?

The only bad part of the weekend was my kid and her 104 degree fever and the fact that my hips hurt so bad by last night that I almost had to ask Ski to carry me up the stairs. I guess you can't win them all.

the glass is actually half full today

You ever have one of those weeks months where everything you try to do ends up going drastically wrong and you get to the point where you just want to curl up in to a black hole and the only thing that makes it so that you don't climb into said hole is that there is a little girl that calls you Mama that is so cute and sweet that you don't want to miss a single second of your time with her?

Like when you try to stop spending money to pay down debt and then your car breaks and a pipe bursts in your basement and none of it is covered by insurance.

Or when you get totally geeked about ice cream, walk your pregnant ass up to your neighborhood market only to find they are out of Dulce de Leche and no other kind is good enough so you walk back home with nothing.

Or you get frustrated trying to fight your kid to take a nap and decide to take her for a ride in the car to calm her down and you end up backing into your neighbor's car on the way out of the driveway.

Or you decide on how to decorate a room in your house but then can't find or can't afford the key elements of what you want.

Or you have a problem that you keep telling yourself will get better and an entire month goes by and it doesn't get better and some days you are certain it never will and you'll be living with the problem for the rest of your life and that thought is the only thought that you are physically capable of dwelling on.

I've been having one of those kinds of months. Moping around, not getting anything done, feeling sorry for myself, waking up sweating and in tears from bad dreams because I'm pregnant and I can't shut my brain off.

It has lasted long enough.

Today the glass was half full for the first time in a long time.  

Today when the car mechanic told me the bill was $600 to fix my car and then 15 minutes later the insurance adjuster told me the $5K worth of work that needs to be done on our house isn't covered by insurance and I'm a mere three months away from going three entire months without getting paid, I decided to look on the bright side.

I told myself that I heard the baby's heart beat this morning and it was so loud and strong that I burst into tears because there was a time when I was certain this baby wasn't going to make it and I am so grateful that it seems to be strong and healthy and growing right on schedule.

I told myself that there are people with sick kids. BABIES that are terminally ill and that my problems are pretty pale in comparison.

I told myself that there are people in the world that don't have cars or houses or baby's rooms to decorate and a lot of times they don't even have food to eat.

I told myself that I have a whole family full of healthy people that love me. Even though somedays I'm not sure I deserve their love.

I told myself that I am happily married to the most wonderful man and am so lucky that he chose me to be the mother of his children.

I'm resetting my attitude and am going to look on the bright side. At least for a few more hours. Or maybe even days. Or maybe we should get really optimistic and go for a month.

What gets you out of a funk? Is it ice cream or thinking about people that are more unfortunate than yourself? Booze? Going to the beach?

little cita

This little lady had her very first birthday today. She had a super fun birthday party yesterday with croquet and bocce and a cake showdown where she literally licked the remaining frosting off of the plate. Today, she spent the day on the lake in Grandma & Grandpa's new pontoon boat.  

She is a little spitfire who keeps us all on our toes. I remember saying that Charlie was feisty when he was little and while he is, I'm certain Sarah will be kicking his butt in NO TIME.

Happy Birthday, Sarah Cita!