beanski

thirteen months

I wanted to start by saying it was a busy month for us and for Renee but then I sort of had deja vu and went back and read my other monthly posts and by golly, I think I start EVERY month that way. THAT IS BECAUSE EVERY MONTH IS BUSY. I just want a month of peace and quiet. I say that now and when it is October and my doctor won't let me leave the county, I'll complain about that. At least we know where she gets her irrational behavior. Her dad, OBVIOUSLY.

After Renee's birthday bash, we did Griffin's birthday party, followed by the 4th of July, followed by a trip across the country, followed by two weeks of bliss where I refused to do anything but wallow around and complain about how life sucks and about how tired I am. During this time, Renee, she was busy mastering her latest and greatest skill and that is walking. I can't believe how one day she couldn't go more than a step or two without diving forward just hoping we'd catch her and the next she could walk all the way across the room. I think maybe she was playing with me, pretending like she needed me just to make me feel better about her growing up too blessed fast, and then one day she got tired of the charade and decided that she wasn't waiting for me any longer. And, off she went {SIGH}. I told her when I got pregnant that all I asked of her was that she was walking by the time the new baby came and imagine my surprise when she actually held up her end of the bargain. Thanks baby, I couldn't imagine how ON EARTH one would go about transferring both an infant car seat and a twenty-pound one-year-old in and out of the car and into the house IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER and I'm SO glad that I don't have to find out.

She grew two new teeth this month and those two teeth just HAD to pick her uncle's wedding weekend to cause the most trouble. They came in at precisely the same time and she ran a 102 fever for three days to celebrate going from one tooth to three. Two days after we got home, she went back to happy little proper temperature baby, taking scheduled naps and going to bed on time. OF COURSE SHE DID.

She has turned into the slowest eater on the planet and it has gotten to the point where I need to get up at 5AM and get her in her high chair for breakfast if I want any chance of getting to work by 7AM. I am exaggerating SLIGHTLY but SERIOUSLY, we are a busy crew and we have people to see and things to do. SPEED IT UP ALREADY.

We're still having a couple of bottles per day, partly because I have been on a too-lazy-to-deal-with-anything-hard kick and partly because Becky at daycare is still giving her bottles. There is another girl Renee's age at daycare that is still getting a bottle and she wants to cut them for both of them at the same time. I guess I don't blame her but seriously, formula is not getting any cheaper. Other favorite foods are: watermelon (I am certain she has eaten at least double her weight of watermelon this month), peaches, bananas, blackberries, chicken, eggs, carrots, broccoli, zucchini and absolutely anything with cheese on or in it. I can smother Brussels sprouts or lima beans in cheese and the kid will eat it. She still moans after every bite.

She is babbling with inflection now like she is totally talking in sentences and looks at me like she's wondering why I'm not answering her questions. The Point is still in effect, especially when her dad picks her up. It's like Dad = The Point. She knows what everything I can think of to teach her is called. Pictures in books, household items, body parts, which cat is which, you name it. She has it all dialed in. My new goal is to teach her the difference between a rubber spatula and a baster and a whisk because seriously, I am running out of things to show her and if she really is going to be a chef someday, she might as well get started on her culinary terms now. Her hands down favorite word, however, is UP. She stands at our feet and says UP all day long. UP, UP, UP and boy does she mean it.

This brings me to the temper tantrums. I need to get one on video. She sits down and puts her head between her legs, forehead on the floor and whines while shaking her head back and forth like she just can't even believe we didn't give her what she wanted immediately. Even though 97% of the time we have no clue what it is that she actually wants. I think she desparately WANTS to tell us what she wants and she just can't figure out HOW and it pisses her right off. She FREAKS OUT this when she's pointing at something and we can't tell just what and don't get it in to her hands immediately or when we put her down (she still likes to be carried and I blame her Daddy Chair for this), when we try to put her in her high chair or car seat or stroller or when we try to change her diaper or her clothes. She refuses to be tied down, in any capacity, at all costs. I am taking the "ignore it and it will go away" approach and that seems to be working so far. Don't let her see your weaknesses, right?

She stands by the window and screams until we take her outside. If she so much as catches a glimpse of her water table or her slide or her swimming pool and she isn't out there immediately she LOSES her mind. Not to mention that the water has to be the perfect temperature. Can't be too cold for little Miss Priss.

Finally, my favorite for the month and possibly one of my favorite pictures of her ever.

**I changed my header for these outside pictures. It was so much fun to see her so happy. And even better that I managed to capture the moment. I hate typepad and what it is doing to my pictures. Have I mentioned that? Compare my header to the same version in this post...an OBVIOUS difference. Why must they do that?

we're changing her name to crash

Please ignore my voice in all aspects in this video. The fact I am even posting it proves that I have no standards for the hatred of my own baby voice. But the baby is awfully cute, right? 

I totally didn't see the whole injury thing coming when the little monster decided it was time to walk. In the last six days she has:

• Fallen and smashed her face against the ceramic bathtub causing her mom to FREAK and INSIST that she is going to need reconstructive surgery on her face, or at the VERY LEAST, was SURE to have a severe concussion.
• Tripped while stumbling around and landed her mouth right on my water bottle, causing copious amounts of blood to pour on to my rug and at least 10 minutes where I wasn't sure if she had knocked one of her three teeth out.
• Bounced her face and head off of various pieces of furniture resulting in a look that I can only describe as tattered. She pretty much looks like I beat her.

I guess it's true what they say though: They bounce.

22 weeks

New this time...
...are the Braxton Hicks contractions every fifteen seconds. If I stand up or move too fast I have contractions and it scares the shit out of me every time.
...is the constant worry. High risk pregnancies suck. I wish they had never uttered those words in my presence because I am a worrier by nature and that has put me over the top.
...I have heartburn 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It doesn't matter what I eat, the heartburn is inevitable.
...I am so thankful to be pregnant that I don't *THINK* I complain as much. I should seek confirmation from my hubby on this one though.

I don't miss...
...the God-forsaken back and hip pain. By this time last time I could hardly walk at times and I have none of that this time, even with carrying a twenty pound one-year-old all day every day. I figure everything has already spread out.
...obsessively worrying about stupid things like expensive strollers, birth plans and room decor. I figure as long as I have some Newborn diapers by October or so, we should be good to go.

This time is the same as last time because...
...I am still getting up every 15 seconds to pee.
...I am still eating every sweet thing in my path with a strong preference for anything mint.

I'm up about 18 pounds already, which is a measily five pounds from where I was WHEN RENEE WAS BORN. I DREAD getting on the scale and I DREAD this baby being born so that I have to worry about getting rid of the baby weight that I know will be more stubborn this time. I dread my weekly progesterone injections but am thankful that I feel as though I am doing something, anything to give this baby a fighting chance. I count the days until I can breathe a little easier that, should my body fail me, the baby has strong chance of survival.

My doctor referred to the baby as a she at my last appointment and when I looked at her like someone had punched me in the stomach, she backtracked and asked if we found out the sex. When I told her no, she said she didn't either but was apparently 'guessing girl.' Both Ski and I are 80% certain we are having another girl and to be honest, while I know I'll be happy either way, I sort of want another girl. I want Renee to have a sister, a best friend her age for life, a constant advocate. While I know she could have that relationship with a brother, I understand the relationship between sisters and I can't help but want that for her. I think it is really weird that everyone automatically assumes that I want a boy just because I already have a girl. Because that just isn't the case.

Even though I have had no time or desire to take a belly picture this pregnancy because I feel anything but cute, I told myself enough times over the weekend that I will regret it and finally took a couple anyways. Plus, my first belly picture with Renee was at 21 weeks so that was enough guilt to force me to do it. She got it, this kid deserves the same, right? Here is what I looked liked at 21 weeks with Renee and here is what I look like at 21.5 weeks with this new one. Either it really does "happen faster the second time" or I am not doing very good at warding off the Junior Mints cravings. I personally think it is the latter but admit that I do feel better when moms of multiples assure me they've been there.

Oh and that video of Renee walking? It's coming, mom. 

she walks.

For the last few weeks Renee has been able to stand up from sitting without help and would periodically take a few steps before losing her balance and falling on her butt. Every day we wondered if TODAY was THE day and yesterday it was. She walked clear from one end of our house to the other. July 21, just nine days shy of 13 months. I read a statistic once that claimed that over 90% of babies walk within a month on either side of their first birthdays and by golly she JUST made it. I got a video of it but my video camera is OLD and I couldn't get the editing software to install on Windows Vista so that I could cut it. GRRRR. I'll try to get one with my point-and-shoot tonight and post it for those of you that could use a laugh. She's so cute and deliberate and each step is so calculated. It cracks me right up! She still crawls when she's feeling lazy and you know what, I can totally relate!

On to the next adventure! What's left? *SIGH*

my date with strangers

As part of Operation Separation Anxiety, where we are trying to get Renee comfortable with other people so that when I go in to labor I don't have to be all alone, we rounded up Tara and Charlie to babysit on Saturday night so we could go see The Dark Knight (which, in my opinion, was worth at least most of the hype it is getting; Heath Ledger's joker was one of the best villains I've ever seen). It was a momentous occasion on a few levels. 1) We hadn't left Renee with a babysitter since she started her separation anxiety phase and 2) We were actually going to a movie in the theater on the weekend of the premiere. Ski went down early in the day and got tickets and we headed down around 4:30PM for our big date. Renee looked like someone had punched her in the stomach when we were walking out and screamed herself silly but I uttered the mantra "This is good for her, we have to do it..." over and over and over again all the way out to the car. They said she cried for 10 minutes and then she went to sleep. Works for me. By the time we got home she was up and flirting with Charlie so I think it is safe to call our first mission successful. Now, dinner AND a movie, dare I even THINK it? THANKS SO MUCH for babysitting guys!

There must have been something going on at the DECC because Canal Park was BUSY and we ended up having to park like a mile away from the theatre and then walk in the rain in flip flops. We finally got there, hoping to have not missed anything but previews and we walked in to a totally PACKED theatre. Two open seats in the whole place and you guessed it, not even together. So, on our first date in many moons, we didn't even get to sit together. Figures.

As a testament to the kindness of strangers, however, when I sat down in the front row in the worst seats in the entire house, the woman next to me asked if I was all alone. I responded, "Well no, my husband is back there...but there are no seats together and this is the first time we've gotten a babysitter in an entire year so we pretty much HAVE to stay." She looked empathetic and then turned to me about five minutes later and said, "Do you want me to switch seats with your husband?" This kind woman was going to leave her own husband so that I could sit with mine. I didn't take her up on it but I sat there for the rest of the movie thinking, "You know what, there really are kind, selfless people left in the world after all." And I needed to be reminded of that because lately I've been beginning to wonder.

he thinks we should buy a minivan

{CRINGE}

I have nothing against vans or station wagons or any grocery getter of any kind. I never said never on these items because well, I know myself, and I know that at the end of the day convenience almost always outweighs image. I don't even TRY to look cute so who cares if I pull up to Bunco next month in a car that screams 'I am a mom and I have traded in all forms of coolness for this sweet, oversized ride with TONS of cargo space.' I'm already five months pregnant looking eight months pregnant, I'm pretty sure everyone will be too occupied with staring at my enormous belly to notice that I'm driving a minivan.

I drive a 03 VW Passat that I think is still one of the cutest cars out there. I love it. Ski drives an 02 Honda Accord. Both of these cars are paid for and by paid for, I mean FREE. Why do we think buying a new car is a good idea? I DON'T KNOW but we do. I think it is the baby's fault. First, we started looking at houses and when we realized we couldn't afford one we liked, we moved on to cars. It is an irrational NEED to do SOMETHING to get ready for this new little creature that is coming into our lives.

The Criteria:
- AWD - We live in the tundra and want at least one car that can get us up the Biggest Hill of Mankind to pick up the kids and then back home in the winter.
- Gas mileage - The Passat (which we're planning on keeping) gets about 30 MPG so we'll be driving that around town and on summer trips so something with DECENT gas mileage would be good but I'm not quite ready to go for the Prius-good.
- Space - Both of our cars barely fit the gear needed to equip ourselves for one weekend away with one kid. Where are we going to put the baby's stuff? A roof rack? Don't laugh because I have researched roof racks and while I like the concept, I think asking Ski to get it up there in 40 below temps and fill it with baby stuff that I'll yell at him for 12 miles down the road when I NEED something in it, screams divorce. And I sort of like him.
- Longevity - I am being slightly melodramatic about the stuff. I KNOW we can fit everything in to our cars. Part of what we're really up to is trying to spread out our 'newer' car so that we don't ever again have $1,000 worth of car payments at one time. We get a car now and then by the time the Passat needs to be replaced; we'll have hopefully paid off the new car and can get another one. We're shooting for longevity as our biggest goal, which is hard because I have never had a five-year-old and a four-year-old before and it's almost impossible to know what our needs will be then.

The Current Options
- Subaru Outback
- Toyota Sienna
- Honda Odyssey, which doesn't come in AWD but is supposedly 'The Best Minivan'
- Others? Toyota Highlander? TRV?

I don't have anything against domestic cars, we've just always had foreign cars so that's where we started looking. I'd also like to check out a few SUVs of the smaller persuasion but don't even know where to start on that front. Do SUVs really have anymore space than a car? I guess I have a hard time seeing it with the third row looking to be slightly taller but not that much bigger than a car. And the gas mileage isn't as good as a van and I don't really need the ability to tow boats or anything.

What do you drive and would you buy a van or a wagon or an SUV? Please be kind.

colin + brooke

We headed to Ohio over the weekend to watch Ski's brother Colin marry his special lady friend, Brooke. It was a four-day bash full of lots of eating and drinking and being merry. The bride was stunning and everything went off without a hitch. A small storm came through just as most of the guests were arriving for the indoor reception so PERFECT timing to say, without any inconvenience, "It's good luck for it to rain on your wedding day." I don't think they need luck...I'm certain it will be happily ever after. I love to watch a new bride and groom interact and it makes my heart smile to hear Brooke call Colin husband. I remember how weird it was for me to call Ski husband for the first time and I still sort of feel weird when he introduces me as his wife. Congratulations guys, the wedding was beautiful! Oh yeah, I forgot, you are in Antigua right now so part of me sort of hates you. But not really.  

It was quite a balancing act with a one-year-old, a pregnant me who spent most of the big day having random contractions (likely from dehydration because really, who has time to drink water with a one-year-old around?), and the brother of the groom who wanted to spend every moment he could with his brother. I sort of felt trapped, not being able to take the pictures I wanted to take or spend the time I wanted to focusing on Brooke. I borrowed a sweet wedding zoom lens for the occasion and I never even once attached it to my camera body :( Renee was good, better than I expected, but not perfect. I mean, really, by day 3 of being totally out of her element, very limited naps and having her mom and dad drop her off with random stranger after random stranger, I can't really blame for her hitting her melting point just before dinner. 

Flying was not even nearly as stressful as I thought it would be. We caved at the last minute and wiped out our World Perks miles to buy her a seat on the plane and I have absolutely no regrets about that. She needed interaction before and after take-off and we kept her busy with stickers and suckers and books and toys and bottles. Thank God for the bottle. On 3 of the 4 flights she was sleeping before we even hit cruising altitude. I feel a gigantic rush of relief because I'm confident now that we will be able to get out to Ohio to see the newlyweds soon. I took exactly 24 pictures all weekend because I have an overly sensitive one-year-old and I am a failure. Here are the few I did get.

Here is the beautiful bride. Isn't she pretty? 

And one in color. 
 

The ONLY picture I got of crabby little Miss Renee in her party dress. 
 

And The Goose in her matching and equally adorable dress.

babyski2, in the flesh...well almost

We had our 20-week ultrasound today. We almost caved to find out if IT was a girl baby or a boy baby but I bit my tongue when the lady asked and we both looked the other way. IT had it's hands AND feet tucked up by it's face just like Renee did and the heart rate was 141. Hers was 142. This one measures big for it's age though, pretty much a week ahead across the board and it even looks a bit chunkier. Now I can blame the baby for me being as big as a house at 20 weeks. First just the hands were in front of the face and by the end, IT was using both it's hands and feets to hide it's face. Like IT was saying, 'Don't think you can control me, SUCKAS! No peeking!' It was a LOT more active than she was for her ultrasound though so I'm not sure what to do with that. Other than to be afraid, very, very afraid. Now that you have the pertinent information, go make a guess in the ExpectNet game.

I'm partial to this one where I'm pretty sure the tech was a split second too late to capture our child giving us the metal. 'What up, dudes. Go ahead and keep trying, I will not reveal my face until I'm good and ready.'

One more, doesn't IT look all comfy in there? I want to curl up and go to sleep. JUST LIKE THAT. RIGHT NOW.

Renee and babyski2 side by side. I don't think they look very much alike?

Do you have ANY idea what the 20-week ultrasound means? GOOD LORD, it means that I'm halfway done already. I was always good at math but there must be something faulty in my calculations because it really can't mean that I'm halfway done.

Can it?

GOOD LORD. Please help me. I'll say Hail Mary's and start going to church or whatever. Just PLEASE make it slow down. I'm just not ready. I don't want to be done with being pregnant because I know there is as good of a chance that I'll never be pregnant again than that I will. It was all excitement and 'I can't wait to meet the baby' and 'look at how cute it's fingers are' last time. This time I'm educated in the world of newborns and bleeding nipples and post-partum hormones and it surely can't be only a few months away. IT JUST CAN'T BE. Do you know of any, umm, procedures to get the baby to just stay on the inside until, let's see, next May or so? I'm almost certain I'd be ready then. Or maybe June, I liked having a June baby...or maybe even July...sure, it's hot in July but July is still a good month overall...or what about August?...

go forth and laugh at my expense

Combine an obsessive-compulsive, control-freak pregnant woman, a first birthday party, a second birthday party, the 4th of July AND a trip across the country to attend a wedding for two people that you absolutely adore and you know what you get?

AN INSANE PREGNANT WOMAN.

You know where that insanity landed this pregnant woman yesterday? At the Birthing Center, hooked up to all sorts of monitors, sobbing her fool head off. All alone I must add, because WHO THE HELL is going to take care of Renee if I have to go to the hospital? Her dad, that's who. Who does that leave for moral support for the wife and unborn child? NO ONE, that's who. The long and the short is that I was totally convinced I was leaking amniotic fluid (I wasn't) and that I was going to lose the baby (I didn't). Looking back today I'm not sure if I created it in my mind or if the stress and the worry and the lack of sleep from those two teeth that just won't hurry-up-and-pop-through already finally got to me. Or maybe the progesterone is changing my body chemistry and the changes didn't sit right in my mind. The diagnosis: Everything is totally normal, keep doing what you're doing and we'll see you next week for your previously scheduled appointment. This is exactly what I wanted to hear so I'm happy about that. Sort of humiliated but happy nonetheless.

So, have you gone to the clinic or the hospital worried that something was totally wrong only be told that everything was totally right? Go forth and laugh at my expense, shake your head and say, ‘Chill out woman.’ The funny thing is that I AM chilled today. I would go so far as to say I'm calm and collected. Yesterday? Not so much.

skinny with a big head

Just after her six-month Well-Baby visit, I made a crack that Renee is 'tall, skinny and has a big head.' The funny part of that joke is that neither Ski or I are any form of tall or any form of skinny. In fact, really no one on either side of our families is tall or skinny. Renee does not have a single tall or skinny gene in her body.

We had her one-year appointment last week and the most notable discovery, other than that I managed to con my doctor into waiting for another year or so to start her MMR series, is that six months later, she is STILL tall, skinny and has a big head. 25th percentile for weight, 50th for height and 90th for head circumference. I think the big head must make her top heavy, which is probably why she's not quite walking yet. She did manage to take no fewer than four unassisted steps this weekend though so I can't imagine it will be long. She weighed in at 20lbs 8oz so the big news around these parts is that we got to turn her carseat around and she giggles every time we strap her in...