I have avoided the subject of breastfeeding on this blog for a long, long time. It is one of those issues that, depending on your experience with it, polarizes the troops. Some formula-feeding moms are paranoid and think breastfeeding moms are judging them and some breastfeeding moms are doing just that. Everyone is guilty, including me. This post is not to say what I think it right or wrong because I can see both sides. The purpose of it is to document my experience with it, if only for prosperity's sake. Or maybe to help someone out there reading that is struggling with breastfeeding or someone that is wondering if they can do it. It was a HUGE part of my life for almost an entire year and if I can't look back on it and document my very personal experience with it on my blog, I have let my blog become something other than its original purpose.
A support group was crucial.
Both of my sisters nursed or are nursing both of their babies. They told me over and over early on that I could do it and that at some point she wouldn't want to abuse my hoots every ten seconds. I didn't believe them but they were right.
Stubbornness, selflessness and determination.
This whole journey has been about her. It may have started about me and my obsession with perfectionism in everything I do, be it my job or being a wife or being a daughter or a mother. Those first few weeks when we were struggling to learn how to latch and she was struggling with her preemie baby sleepiness, I admit it was about me. It was about my determination and my profound internal NEED to give the people that I love everything I am capable of giving and then some. She took to nursing like a crazy baby and I didn't feel like it was my decision to make her stop. She pretty much weaned herself because my milk dried up so I let her decide.
Listen to the advice you want hear and ignore the rest.
The nurses as the hospital told me preemie babies don't take well to nursing. I ignored them. People told me that I wouldn't be able to keep up a mik supply using nipple shields and guess what? I nursed the little monster for 11 months exclusively using a nipple shield. Not every case is the same. Just last week my sister who nursed her son was struggling with her new baby's latch. It isn't easy and there is no right and wrong. There is only each individual baby.
Perfectionism is a good thing in some cases. I don't think this is one of them.
My experience nursing Renee isn't without regrets. I look back now and shake my head that her dad has hardly fed her in her entire life. He gave her plenty of bottles while I was home on maternity leave but after I went back to work, I was always struggling with not having enough milk. I (we) could never go anywhere because using the milk I had pumped at work would mean she wouldn't have enough for daycare. I talked a lot about supplementing with formula but I could never do it. I wish I had. I got up in the middle of the night (sometimes twice) to pump to have enough milk for daycare even though my baby learned how to sleep through the night when she was only three months old. It put a lot of strain on me and it put a lot of strain on my husband. For that, I have to put regrets down on paper, so when this baby that is currently growing in my tummy is five months old, I can look back and remind myself that Renee had formula at the end and everyone lived through it. There is a time and a place. Sometimes getting away or giving up some of the control is a good thing for everyone. If I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did, I would have never learned this. And a year from now I would have still never gotten out of the house for more than three consecutive hours. While I will absolutely choose to do it again and will do everything in my power to nurse BabySki2 for as long (or longer) than I nursed Renee, my husband deserves to be able to take care of her/him without worrying obsessively that s/he will want to eat while I'm gone.
The Mommy Magnet
The bond that nursing created between Renee and I is definitely there. There is no denying that. While my whole heart explodes with love every time she stops crying the minute I touch her, I can't help but wondering if I created our current troubles. Are the separation anxiety issues that we are currently facing with her a direct result of my refusal to let anyone but me feed her for an entire year of her life? I don't know if the two are related but I can't help but wonder. It breaks my heart that she cries when I leave the room. It hurts that she won't spend time with her grandmas without thinking that I am deserting her. Did I make her feel like I am the only one capable of caring for her? She is totally fine with going to daycare and with taking bottles there because it is part of her routine. Would she be OK with Ski and I going out for dinner or for a night away if I had allowed someone to give her a bottle when she was younger? These are questions I will never know the answer to. I do know that I will try to answer them with my second.
The transition was sad and harder for the mom than the baby.
I miss snuggling with my baby. I spent months bitching and moaning that I had no life and then my milk dried up and I haven't nursed her since Thursday night. And I miss her. I feel sort of unsure what to do with my new-found, post-nursing freedom. I do know if I wasn't knocked up I would drink A LOT of wine. I ran errands this weekend and I gave her a bottle and she drank it in her car seat. For eleven months I scheduled errands around her every-three-hour nursing schedule and here I was, out of the house for five or six hours in one shot. I was never a public nurser, not because I have a problem with people that do, just because I was never really comfortable with it. I am a creature of habit and the habit of that last year was to be at home to feed the baby every three hours. Can I understand why someone would choose to not do that? HELL YES, I can. I can understand not wanting to and I can understand not being able to have it any other way.
Oh and one more thing, formula is FREAKING expensive. I think it is the biggest form of gouging out there. She's been having formula for one month (2-3 6oz bottles a day) and I can't believe how much it costs. How does one afford it at the beginning when they eat every fifteen seconds?
I would love to hear anyone out there's experience with breastfeeding. Did you try it and would you do it again? What secrets did you learn that might help me with the next one? What was the hardest part?
Renee~Great post. I was bound and determined to nurse. Nothing or nobody was standing in my way. I guess I had this vision that Reyna would come, she would latch on and it would be fine. Well, she wouldn't latch on. Still, I never gave up. I got a Medela, pumped every two hours, gave her expressed milk for a few days until my cousin told me about nipple shields. I tried and it worked. I used one for about a month of two and then she latched on w/out.
Like you said, I don't know how these moms afford formula. My view is that if you have it, why not use it? I can't imagine choosing to pay for formula if I have a supplement of free and good for you milk.
Reyna weened herself around 8 1/2 months. I guess I was okay with it since it was more her choice as opposed to a struggle. We put her on formula afterwards for a couple of months. She took that fine.
She has been a very healthy baby and I attribute that to breastmilk.
I wasn't working while I was nursing and I did pump. That allowed Jade and grandparents to give her a bottle when I wasn't there. I loved having that little bit of freedom and Jade liked feeding her now and then.
Great post!!!! I hope you are feeling well with baby 2.
Posted by: Leslie | June 10, 2008 at 03:59 AM
Oh good topic. Kieran, is 10.5 months and is still breastfed. When he was born, I wasn't sold on breastfeeding...but it was something my husband encouraged (tho he wasn't breastfed?). So we took the class at the hospital before he was born. And I specifically remember them telling us that it wouldn't hurt. If it hurt, then something was wrong. That was SO misleading. The first 2-3 weeks were horrible and THEN it was pain free. I'd describe it like taking a cheese grater to my nipples. Blah. I wanted to quit so bad. We went to the lactation consultant and she told us he had a good latch and just to keep going. So we did and now 10.5 months later, I'm glad.
But a few things I'd change....I was so paranoid about "nipple confusion" that we did not give Kieran a bottle or a pacifier after the first week. Even though I had a medela. That backfired big time. When he was a month old, I wanted to go shopping....so I pumped and went on my way...leaving Kieran with my husband. Kieran would not eat for him. He screamed and spit the bottle out. We kept trying...but no real luck. So...next baby, we will be introducing bottles much earlier!
Oh i should say that now I'm a SAHM...but that wasn't the original plan. I planned to pump at work. But we moved from MN to MI when he was 3 months old and I just haven't made a decision about going back to work. If I'd gone back to work, we would have worked much harder at getting him to take a bottle....obviously :-)
And this continues still. Since he's approaching a year old, I want to get him ready for the transition to cow's milk. I pumped and put it in his sippy. He usually loves his sippy. He took a drink of my milk, looked at his cup, and promptly spit it out. And threw his sippy off his high chair. He ONLY wants water....not even juice in his cup. Crap.
Which now brings me to the guilt of weaning him. He's not doing it on his own. So now I'm trying to decide if I keep going until he does? But I really don't want to be breastfeeding a toddler. And I'd selfishly like my freedom back to go out for more than 3 hours. So I'm torn. Because he is not going through separation anxiety. AT ALL. He comes to me when he's hungry, tired, or hurt. Otherwise, anyone will do. So feeding him gives me that little time to hold him without him squirming away.
So that's my experience. Overall, it's been great. But I've also learned some important things to change next time around!
Posted by: Molly | June 10, 2008 at 06:44 AM
Great post! I think the formula vs. breastfeeding divide is a lot like the stay-at-home mom vs working mom one. Who needs the pressure? Isn't everyone doing what they need to for their family?
My breastfeeding experience is as follows: Nick (baby#1) was great at nursing in the end, but my stress at the beginning really affected my milk supply and we supplemented almost every evening during what we called my low supply (also the most stressful time around our house still - 6 PM). Still, having to use one (or more) bottles of formula a day is not a failure at breastfeeding. It was just a necessity to have a healthy, happy baby.
Dylan (baby#2) was a champion nurser! He didn't need any supplement and he could have gone a lot longer. We only made it 5 months because he had an intolerance to milk - meaning when I had ANY dairy product he had horrible gas pains. Therefore, we weaned earlier than I wanted (which was 6 months). Still, he had the occasional bottle - like when we all got the stomach flu except him and SOMEONE had to feed him while I was losing my lunch every 20 minutes for 24 hours! This made it easy to wean him - which I did by substituting one bottle a day every few days until we were finished.
Natalie (baby#3) was also a great nurser. However, she REFUSED to be weaned on my timetable (the little stink). Again, my goal was 6 months. At 5 months I tried giving her the occasional bottle, just to get ready and she was having NONE of it. I tried every possible combination of nipple, bottle, cup, breastmilk, formula, you name it. No go. Our pediatrician recommended going cold turkey - saying she wouldn't starve herself. BS. She went over 12 hours without eating and I caved. Also, no one told me about the horrible hormone surge if you stop abruptly. I was NUTS! So, about a month later I nonchalantly gave her a bottle and she drank it! We didn't look back. I did stop cold turkey, but it was on her timetable and it went without much of a hitch. And I was prepared for the hormones, so I could adjust.
The important thing to remember is that no matter what, you're not going to let your baby starve. Breastfeeding is a great experience, but if for any reason you can't do it, it will be OK. Plenty of formula fed babies grow up to be just as healthy and smart as breastfed ones. Your baby will be fine because you will do you best to care for him (I just know it's going to be a boy) no matter what! Good luck!
Posted by: Kim P | June 10, 2008 at 06:55 AM
Gina, you rock for breastfeeding Renee for 11 months of her life. It's just awesome. There are so many kids out there that don't even get that. Tim's cousin just had a baby and she's nursed her daughter for 3 weeks and decided it just wasn't for her (actually, her baby wasn't gaining enough weight and it soon came out that she was only nursing her every 3-4 hours). So be proud of yourself for making it 11 months. That's quite an accomplishment! I understand your sadness in being done. I dread the day I have to wean Ava, but at least I know that I'll have another baby and will be able to breastfeed him/her. You've only got a couple of months of freedom, so live it up. Enjoy not pumping any more (boy do I wish I didn't have to pump twice a day - what a pain). This winter will be here soon enough and you'll be nursing another little sweetie! Miss you!
Posted by: Melissa | June 10, 2008 at 12:52 PM
Nice work taking on this touchy topic. :) I liked your post... I'll tell you about my experience with breastfeeding, warning... this will probably get long.
Before I had Max I was planning to try breastfeeding but I was also preparing myself not to be disappointed if it didn't work out. It ended up working out fabulously (we never had any problems w/latching, thrush, etc). But I ended up hating it... well, 'hate' is a strong word, but... I couldn't wait to be done. I hated when he'd be screaming from gas pains and I'd be worrying if it was something I had put in MY body that was causing him pain. I hated nursing bras, leaking, feeling wet all the time, making sure I had the right kind of shirt on. I haaaated pumping, especially electric pumping... the thought of it still makes me shiver... I bought a hand pump and that was so much better, but I couldn't conceive of pumping at work every. single. day... and then having to pump MORE on top of that if I ever wanted to leave the house to do anything else. I hated worrying about getting back home in time to nurse or if I'd have to nurse him somewhere when I was out, where that would be. If I wasn't at home with him, I hated worrying the entire time I was gone that he'd be hungry and I wouldn't have left enough milk with whomever was watching him. And maybe worst of all... I felt sooo claustrophobic, which was horrible. None of these things had to be a deal-breaker on breastfeeding, and I'm sure some or all of them would have gotten better over time, but when put together with a mild case of PPD or the baby blues or whatever it was that made me so completely depressed post-partum, it made these things seem 1000 times worse. And I hated it. So I breastfed about 2.5 months or so and then was completely done. And it was like the sun came out. I was SO much happier. So many of the 'cons' to formula were just not there for me. Max has had a total of MAYBE one cold and one stomach bug in 13 months, so I don't really buy into the sickness thing. We used Target-brand formula because it's the exact same thing, and maybe this is horrible, but I honestly didn't even notice another $11/week tacked on to my Target receipt... and really, I think the cost was more than offset by the fact that Tom and I didn't eat out as much after Max arrived (I'm pretty sure one dinner out could feed Max for two whole weeks... or a whole month). I didn't feel like I missed out on 'snuggling' or 'bonding' with my baby... I always held him when I gave him his bottle, so I still got that snuggle time and was actually happier during it. I never thought bottles were a pain... we always filled the water beforehand and gave them to him at room-temp... so it was 1) dump in powder, 2) shake. I could manage that even at 4am. And I actually liked washing them... I hate washing dishes but like washing bottles for some weird reason. And going out was simple too - took the pre-filled bottles of water, my travel formula case, and we were set - not exactly hard... in a lot of cases, actually easier, I thought.
This is not to say I won't give breastfeeding a try with my next baby - I most definitely will. And who knows, maybe I'll end up loving it the second time around and nurse for 2.5 YEARS. I think every baby is different, every situation is different... and I think it's all about balance, and with Max, formula is where I found the best balance between what was good for me and what was good for him. I didn't want to be feeding my son and be feeling resentful... have him pick up on that feeling in ANY way. He's been perfectly happy, smart, and healthy after having formula for 9 months of his life. I could have breastfed and been miserable... but I feel like that would have robbed me of something, too. Someday when he's grown up and I'm remembering him as a tiny baby, I'll remember being HAPPY... and I'm pretty sure that he's going to turn out okay regardless.
And on the topic of people judging - even though I'm perfectly happy with my decision, once in awhile, other people will make it hard not for me to feel guilty about it - but then, there are a lot of choices that seem to pit moms against each other - do you work outside the home? Do you co-sleep? Do you use BPA-free bottles? Do you only give your child baby food that was organically grown and ground up by you and you alone? Like my sister and I used to say to each other... ooh, your medal's in the mail. :) I think we all do what we need to do. You are totally right about the judging that goes on. Maybe some people bottle-feed because they have health issues, or just because they don't like the huge boobs... maybe some people breastfeed because they truly find it to be a wonderful experience, or maybe they do it because they are perfectionists, or martyrs... even competitive... maybe more than they enjoy the actual breastfeeding, they like being able to say they did it, or look at someone else and say to themselves, 'I'm a better mom than she is' and feel smug about it (in no way am I talking about you here, Gina, or anyone else in particular). As long as the mom is healthy and happy and the baby is healthy and happy, is it really wrong? I just hate when people totally judge someone because of their feeding choice... whether it's giving someone who is breastfeeding a dirty look or giving someone who is bottle-feeding a dirty look. I'm sure we all have more than enough to feel guilty about on our own. :)
Posted by: kim | June 10, 2008 at 06:36 PM
I am a COW! I produce more milk than Emmitt needs right now...but I pump like a freak and make too much, just so I don't feel like crap when I have to leave for more than 3 hours at a time. So I have the flip side of that also-I have triple F size hoots AND I let down like I have a 2 week old baby-which he is almost 4 months now. I nursed Parker for 1 year. That was my goal. I am stubborn just like you...that's why we are such great friends! I remember sitting in a Nutrition class in college and the teacher saying "it's the best, it's free and it's special" blah, blah, blah...well that's all I needed to hear and off I went like the stubborn German I am. NO WAY was I giving up. I had Parker-came home with a spinal headache and couldn't look down, so my husband had to "help" me get my watermelon boob in the right spot and help with the latch. I live in the middle of nowhere with NO lactation consultant...then I got engorged and called my friend crying about these massive rocks on my chest. Then 3 weeks passed and it all worked out...home free with Parker. He was an emotional nurser-colic city! He cried and I would feed him. Bear and I fought about what I ate for supper the night before until we agreed that it didn't matter what I ate and went with it. At 4 months my Parker got kicked out of daycare for not taking a freaking bottle! It's your job lady! So I called on Stephie to save the day and he took it from her just fine-for awhile-and when he fought her on it, she dealt with it and he turned out just fine. At 11months 3 weeks I nursed him for the last time-which was when he bit me and drew blood and then laughed at my slapping his mouth! I should mention that he had 16 teeth at 12 months!! YES 16!!!! Anyways-the next week I was in Vegas for work and drank like a crazy non-breastfeeding 25 year old should! I'm talking Bloody Mary's were my breakfast! Then the end of my trip came the first post pregnancy period (TMI-I know) but it was awful so be prepared for that to show up...wait you don't have to worry about that! Yeah for you. So I was on the airplane, with a fever (I had strep throat too and didn't know it) on the red eye flight and BAM! Period...even had to ask the flight attendant for a tampon! Only me. Fast forward a little. So I quit nursing Parker at a year and 6 months later I got pregnant with Emmitt. And here I am, stubborn all over again-much easier nursing the second time around. The first time we both didn't know what we were doing...this time, I can do it all. I can even sign for a UPS package never breaking the latch! The things I think are BS-3,000 calories burned? Come on, get real! Either I eat 5000 calories a day or I don't burn that many because nursing has NEVER helped me shed the 40 pounds I gained with both boys! The other is the not getting sick thing...Parker, Bear and I all had strep throat 4 times in 8 months! Emmitt and I have had colds already-nasty colds...so breastfed or formula fed-happy baby and happy mommy is all that matters. I love the bonding, but I hold him when I feed him his bottle of my milk. I managed to give Stephie a second kid that hates to take a bottle but she does it. It's hard on my husband when I am gone and our son is screaming for mommy's boob...but my husband supports me and encourages me and is WAY too cheap to buy formula! Sorry it got so long but do what works for you. I have fed my babies in the bathroom at Applebee's, in the car with the heat blasting, in his rocking chair, in my bed while I am sleeping, and I love doing it!
Posted by: becksolson | June 10, 2008 at 08:10 PM
I think if you were determined to nurse Renee this long, and you were obviously successful at it, then you should be proud of yourself for giving your baby what YOU wanted to give her (and what she wanted from you) for so long.
My personal story is this: When I had Ryan, I wanted to breastfeed, but didn't really go in with a lot of expectations (other than that it would be difficult at first). It was, but he took to it well and within a few days we were doing fine. I was also the type to make sure I was home every 2-3 hours to nurse him, as I REFUSED to nurse in public. However, I needed more freedom than that, so we gave Ryan his first bottle at about 3 weeks old. It was pumped milk, and he accepted it from dad, and I have NO REGRETS about doing that. Early on we made sure he had at least one bottle every few days, just so he'd "remember" what a bottle was, and wouldn't refuse it during a time I had to be gone or someone else was watching him. I also made sure to get him used to taking a bottle from me also, so that if we were gone I could whip out a bottle for him instead of my boob. Anyway, as the months passed, I found I didn't mind nursing, and even enjoyed it at times:) It was going well, I wasn't going back to work, so I was determined to continue nursing without formula supplementation. We made it to 6 months, Ryan was super healthy, doing well, eating well, and I thought what the heck, if he wants to do it, I will try and nurse him to one year. Oh, I forgot to add I sometimes had trouble with my supply staying up. Like if I didn't eat or drink enough, or if I missed one pumping when he had a bottle instead, I would notice a decrease in my milk supply right away. He also went through a couple periods of nursing strikes, which required me to pump way too much for my liking, but we worked through it. So there I was, bound and determined to nurse to one year, but suddenly at 8.5 months, Ryan decided he had had ENOUGH. At about 8 months he started refusing to nurse at least once a day, so I'd pump and give him a bottle. He would still nurse fine before nap and bedtime, but finally one day he refused to nurse AT ALL. What??!! This was not in my plan! I had decided we'd go all the way to 12 months, my dear child! I offered nursing to him a number of times in that week following the last time he nursed, but no go. It was really hard. I had no idea weaning would be his hormonal surge of an experience, but it was terrible. I still pumped for a while afterwards to ward off major engorgement, but I was an emotional wreck. First I felt sad that Ryan didn't want to nurse anymore (rejected, more like), then I was sad that my "baby" wasn't a baby anymore, then I was sad he had to drink the horrible devil's liquor, and I had to PAY for it!
However, in the end, I think Ryan stopping himself at 8.5 months was the best for all of us. He took to formula and bottles just fine. I was in HEAVEN that I never had to pump again. And I didn't have to worry anymore about whether or not I was going to be home in time to nurse or pump or whatever. And looking back now at my child at 12 months of age- I cannot even IMAGINE trying to nurse this kid at one year!! He is this curious bundle of energy with eight teeth! I can't get him to sit in my lap for more than 10 seconds. Oh, and he loves to bite. Enough said there:)
Oh one more thing- if I had been a working mother I'm sure I would have weaned him much much earlier. I have loads of respect for moms who pump at work and store a supply of milk for use at daycare. And you for getting up TWICE in the night to pump? Holy cow.
As for my next kid- I would love to breastfeed again, for as long (or longer) than with Ryan, if the babe is game.
AND just one more thing...my own personal breastfeeding WTF?? And this is way TMI, but since I stopped breastfeeding, my boobs have shriveled up like prunes. I know, horrible image, and it was a total shocker to me. I expected saggy, but I did not expect smaller! I had never heard of this happening before...
Posted by: anne | June 11, 2008 at 01:54 PM
I have a boy who just turned 2 at the end of May, and a girl who is just now 7 months. I breastfed my boy for 13 months and am breastfeeding my girl. I work full time, and pump at work. I love breastfeeding so much that I'm thinking about becoming an LLL leader (you know, the breastfeeding Nazis...)
However, I have learned and am still learning to make sure that I'm not imposing my pro-breastfeeding views on the world. I realized that I might need to tone down a bit when my stepson came to me very upset that his mother was not breastfeeding the new baby at his other house. He was concerned that it wasn't the "normal" way to feed a baby. Dear god, that wasn't ever what I had intended him to think; that there was only 1 "normal" way to feed a baby. All of these comments are so right-on, you have to do what is best for you and your family. You're the only one that can know what the right thing to do is.
I had a woman (at our original daycare) throw a blanket over me and my son once, because she thought I should be in a private room nursing my son. I went home sobbing, and the first person I saw as I got out of my car, was our very tough, very manly neighbor. I told him what happened and he was more furious than I had ever seen anyone. He told me that absolutely no one, should ever tell you what to do with your own child, not daycare providers, not teachers, not doctors, not even your own parents should ultimately be overwhelming you with their opinions about what to do with your own kid. You grew the kid, and you'll make the choices. That really touched my heart to see how truly passionate he was about protecting the very personal decisions that one must make about raising children.
That all being said, it does seem that you are asking for ideas about breastfeeding a second child and I have some! Um, but keep in mind that I'm the one that commented that you could let your husband give you the shots--which everyone else thought was nuts!! :)
Here's my advice:
*Medela pumps are a good investment, even second hand.
*Gerber Seal'n Go freeze and store bags are really convenient for freezing and then just dropping them down into a bottle that accepts liners. Diapers.com has them pretty cheap (cheaper than most stores in Illinois anyway), and free shipping if you buy a bigger supply of them.
*If you can feed your baby at lunchtime, I feel that it helps keep milk supply up. It's also nice to have 1 on 1 time with new baby, without distractions from older sibling! I am fortunate that I only work about 1 mile from my daycare, though, and so feeding at lunch might not be practical for you.
*I read in a magazine that second time moms should put a mattress in a childproof room so that they could nurse the new baby while the toddler ran around. I thought this was crazy and freakish when I first read it, but we have a total childproofed room (no mattess though, because that is just weird), and it helps that I can really relax there while the toddler plays and I nurse the baby.
*YAY and SUPER to Becky for saying that she has fed the baby in bed while she was sleeping! Once I relaxed about my fear of sleeping near the baby, everything about breastfeeding was so much easier. I nurse, I fall asleep, the baby falls asleep, I wake up, I plunk baby back in crib. It works out!
That is all.
Posted by: AmandaH | June 11, 2008 at 03:13 PM
oooh breastfeeding. :) great topic.
i had tucker 7 weeks early. he was in the hospital for 13 days. he was there because he had to learn how to suck and the doctors wanted to make sure he was eating enough to be able to do it on his own and go home. i was a wreck during this time. my emotions/hormones were all over the board. i was depressed for so many reasons - even though this was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. i didn't see tucker after he was born for 36 hours. i had to start pumping and send my milk over to another hospital for him before i was discharged. when i finally got to see him, he wouldn't latch on. i had two specialists helping me, but no soup. so i pumped all. the. time. i wanted to make sure he was getting that from me because i felt it would help him grow faster and quicker. however, i did tell them i was not opposed to formula so they could supplement my milk. i just wanted him to be eating!
when we came home, i was still trying to nurse. i was so worried that he was not getting what he needed because he didn't nurse well. after two weeks at home, i had a breakdown one night (to my parents) and they had to tell me - it is okay if you can't do this, it doesn't mean you are a bad mom. i stopped that week and i felt such a huge relief. after started him on formula i could keep track of what he was eating (which i did for two months because i am insane). it just made me a lot happier and at that time, it made things so much easier.
i am all about the mom's choice. we all are doing the right thing - for our own families! i think i will try again with my second child - but i'll have to decide that when it's time. every mom/child is different and all the more power to you ladies that can keep it up as long as you do! that takes some hard work! as long as you both are happy and healthy - it's all good!
Posted by: jenny | June 11, 2008 at 09:32 PM
Ok.. found you through Kim. Love some of your topics here, so I'm gonna leave you a comment... or 2??:)
I have 2 kids, both were breast fed til they were 1. My boobs are history. And I could care less. Well, I wish they looked good but they didn't look good even before I bfed, so... hahaha, so they are ridiculous now:)
I'm kind of into being natural, but that's just me. Well, I'm not a natural blonde, so I leave myself a few loop holes. haha... But I didn't do epidurals and I do believe in the power of bfeeding. I do have to say though, that I don't judge people for NOT breast feeding. I do know that if I can do it, ANYBODY can do it. I went through most all the obstacles a nursing mom can hit. Thrush, cracked/bleeding nipples, bad latch, etc.... And having random thrush for a year straight kind of sucks. I wanted to throw in the towel 100 times but, for some reason just didn't. I don't know why not, I certainly wanted to.
Neither of my kids had a bottle. I'm not saying this because I'm proud. It was a pain in the ass.... But, they are both fine to be left with the sitter. Well, they'll get a little fussy. But.... I think it's just because I'm their mom and it's my job to be their world, their protector, the one they trust. Fun sitters and toys are great distractions!
Let's see... if I could change a few things about my experiences, it would be to get them to take a few bottles here and there. The hardest thing with being a SAHM is that we don't really go too many places so we forget to give the "training" bottles. When it's game time, the kids can't perform. Ugh... So, I'd try really hard to do better at that. I would also try really hard to give myself some more "me" time. That requires giving a bottle, huh? Yeah, I sucked at that.
I was thinking of writing a post on my blog about the perfect wean. Obviously not needed in your case. But I think I just didn't write it because the bfeeding subject is not all that well liked. However, you the comments on your page are killer. AND LONG. Sorry!!
Nice to meet you!
Posted by: Jaime | June 22, 2008 at 07:10 PM