spot and scan

Monday night I started spotting. Nothing major but enough for me to FREAK OUT and become thoroghly convinced that I was having a miscarriage. I never spotted when I was pregnant with Renee and an irrationally pregnant mind works in a very logical manner. I didn't spot with Renee and I didn't have a miscarriage but I am spotting with this baby THEREFORE I am having a miscarriage. End of proof. I obsessively checked my drawers for an entire night and day and spent a lot of time crying. Two weeks and I'm totally attached to this baby. I finally had enough freaking out and called the doctor. They said they wanted to see me as soon as possible. I cried while sitting in the waiting room. I cried when I tried to explain to the nurse practioner how I'm trying to wean Renee but that she isn't doing very good at it and BOTH of my kids are important to me. My hands were shaking. I felt so sad that I was scared to have the ultrasound because when I went in with Renee I was so excited. The scan showed a VERY FAINTLY beating heart. The yolk sac looked good and was measuring right on and the fetal pole was measuring slightly small which doesn't really concern me because I know I ovulate late and I'm probably not really 6w2d like they said but more like 5w6d and at this stage a HELLUVA a lot of growing goes on in three little days. I feel at least hopeful that things are going to be OK. The little thing didn't implant on my septum (it must be a super genius just like it's big sister) and the heart beating (although faint) gave me hope. I'm still terrified but I'm hopeful. I have to go back on Monday for another scan and another one the following Monday. They are playing this pregnancy high risk and I am thankful that they are taking it seriously.