beanski

ten months

It was a big month for the little monster. She's up to all sorts of new tricks. Ski and I also decided to write her back into the will this month after permanently banishing her last month. So now when we croak she's back to having her little mitts on our fortune (or at this rate, more likely, our debt). She slept through the night more nights than she didn't and while it was probably hovering around the 70/30 ratio I'm in a good mood today and have decided to let her live anyway.

The army crawl, Max-style is in full effect. Did you hear that, my daughter can MOVE! I was excited for about 10 minutes until I realized all of the new obstacles and work this was going to mean for me. Now instead of giving me the evil eye from the other room, with whine of course, she can crawl over and plant herself at my feet and whine. Which makes cooking dinner a bit of a challenge. She is sort of thinking about working on her strength so that she can crawl like a normal baby but it has been fully documented that she is LAZY so I'm not holding my breath. She's just starting to pull herself up to stand next to things and will 'walk' across the room if you let her hang on to your hands. For a while there I wasn't sure if she was ever going to show any interest in moving but she came around. Crawling and assisted walking all in one month. Wait a second kid, SLOW DOWN. I almost sort of want her to grow up but most of me just wants her to stay my little baby forever.

The Army Crawl

Walking. I can see where this is headed and am having nightmares about the money I could spent in physical therapy trying to get my back to recover from hunching over teaching her to walk.

My absolute favorite development this month is her fake laugh. Sometimes she'll look at me out of the blue and fake laugh...just to get a reaction out of me. She knows her "laughing" will make me laugh and she does it all of the time. The cats are fake-funny. The plants are fake-funny. Everything is so gosh darn fake-funny. So now we have a fake cry and a fake laugh, am I sensing a pattern here? She definitely has a future in dramatic arts. She'll real-laugh anytime I say plain old words in weird tones. Like yesterday I said "hairbrush" in a high-pitched voice and it got the cutest belly laugh out of her. I said it over and over and she laughed and laughed and laughed.

She's really starting to communicate. One day a while back when I was changing her diaper I casually pointed up at the light and said "LIGHT" without a second thought. You know, my motherly duty is to try to teach her something even if it is as mundane as the word light. Then I went about my business. The next day when I laid her down to change her diaper she pointed at the light with a fury, with this ultra-pleased look on her face like 'You know what that is, Mom, it is a LIGHT." Now anytime I say "Light" her eyes scan the room until she finds something that qualifies as a light and she furiously points at it. I think she's a good candidate for baby sign language so I rushed out a bought a book and I still haven't read it yet. I've been making up my own signs though. She'll throw her hands up in the air and say "Aaa Da" when she's done eating. 'ALL DONE!' She still says Kitty when she sees the cats although that has become more of a 'it-keee' and she says, 'Dada' (with a point) when she sees Ski. She'll point at me if Ski asks, "Where's Mommy?" But I'm not totally sold she can say it yet. I absolutely LOVE that she very deliberately points with JUST one finger. You could almost see her examining her hands trying to figure out how to stick one finger out and when she figured it out she decided to point at EVERYTHING.

She got her first taste of formula this month and she was not impressed. The look of complete disgust on her face was downright hilarious. I tried a couple of different kinds and actually ended up with one that seems to be OK. She's only getting a couple of ounces a day mixed in with her breast milk and solids at daycare but I wasn't making enough milk for her so formula it was. I have to say, I lived through it. Miss Anti-Formula herself lived through it. And Renee is still kicking...IT IS A MIRACLE. Now if only I had done it six months ago instead of getting up three times a night to pump to make sure I had enough milk for her for daycare, I think I might have at least one or two shreds of my sanity left. Oh well, being a raging lunatic is fun in its own right.

She is still toothless unless you want to count the large volumes of drool that are pouring out of her mouth at any given moment. Becky at daycare keeps saying, "She is for sure teething" and I just laugh. Yeah, I've heard that one a time or two. There have been weeks when I have been SURE one is about to pop thorugh any second and then nothing. I'm really hoping that she's not one of those kids that takes like 3 weeks of torture just to pop one tooth. Seriously kid, TOUGHEN UP.

The last noteworthy thing is that we made her second late night trip to the ER this month...this time for croup. I learned that croup can fool you into seriously thinking your child is going to stop breathing and die at any given moment and that when they say the cough sounds like "seals barking" they are not exaggerating even one little tiny bit. I was awakened to the sounds of her sputtering around in her crib struggling to breathe one night at about midnight. I ran in there picked her up and told Ski to go warm up the car. By the time the car was warm she was peacefully asleep in my arms. So we turned the car off and went to lay her back down in bed and immediately the sputtering and gasping for breath started again. To the ER we went to encounter some of Duluth's very finest specimens. We waited for almost three hours with a sick baby who refused to sleep because she didn't want to miss Jose's final call to the mistress about her cheating on him again and how no one loves him. It SUCKED. When we finally got home at 3AM I ended up holding her upright so she could breathe for the rest of the night. The only good part about this croup story is that I now know what croup is like and next time we will NOT be going to the ER in the middle of the night. Mommy Lesson #749: Croup... CHECK.

There is nothing quite like a ride on the daddy airplane. Guaranteed to replace all forms of whining with giggles at the drop of a hat.

I lost count at 1,236 for how many hours we have spent at the window looking outside. I think she is looking for spring.

Playing "catch" with daddy... no fewer than 10 guaranteed minutes of no whining. I have a passionate love affair with that ball.

Don't think I don't know what you are up to, Lady. BECAUSE I'M ON TO YOU.

Finally my favorite for the month because there is NOTHING in the world like a sleeping ten-month-old. NOTHING.
   

i find this disturbing

I came across this article today. What do you think? Do you mommy YOUR husband? Because I for one am in the "Dude, you're a big boy, grow the frick UP" camp. These women need to hurry up and have kids. I guarantee they'll be better at it than I am. I also feel the need to mention if I ever see a woman cutting her husband's meat up at a dinner party I reserve the right to bitch slap her.

look daddy

What is that white stuff falling out of the sky?

This picture was taken just minutes before I threw myself head first out of our third floor window. So help me God, if I happen to find Mother Nature I will strangle her with my bare hands. 

downpour

I don't remember it starting this early last time. I don't remember being nine and a half weeks pregnant and crying over stupid country songs on the radio. But here I am, crying over songs I don't even like. I read a fair number of blogs in my travels...signing up for Google Reader pretty much was my demise. Anyways, I like pregnancy blogs because reading that someone else is laying awake at night because they can't get comfortable or is having shooting sciatic pain down their leg makes me suck it up and quit complaining. It's like "What up Sista, I feel ya. If YOU can do it, I can do it. Ah yeah." Yesterday a post came through and I started reading. It was about this family that I have read about for a while and they just, out of the blue, lost their baby girl at 21 weeks. The narrative was heartwrenching and I sobbed at my desk. Then I cried again on my way home from work. Then I tried to tell Ski about it because it was still haunting me and I cried some more. In the middle of the night, when I can no longer SLEEP, I cried again. NO ONE should have to go through losing a child. I don't think I'm built for it. So I'll do the progesterone shots and I'll go to the doctor every week and I'll eat nothing but spinach and sweet potatoes and I'll try not to overdo it because the alternative, something happening to my precious little angel, is not an option in my mind. I COULD NOT DO IT. Do you hear me, God? I just can't. Please. I can't. SOB, SOB.

what if

I had an appointment today with my new OB to talk about genetic screening and to follow-up to make sure things are progressing OK. She did a quick ultrasound just looking for a heartbeat and it is still kicking it in there. We were supposed to go to Pittsburgh this weekend for soon-to-be Aunt Brooke's bridal shower but Ski and I didn't think we could live with ourselves if we went and something happened to the baby so we are staying home. I just don't want to be sitting around saying "WHAT IF?" If I take it easy and do what I'm told and I miscarry then at least I know that I did everything I could.

Speaking of "WHAT IF?"...my doctor gave me the run down on what to expect for this pregnancy. I'm sort of bummed out that it wasn't the same speech I got last time. There was a lot more "high risk" and "preterm labor" talked about. She said, "We need to get you to 12 weeks and then you can relax a bit until 28 weeks when we'll start worrying about preterm labor." Sweet. Then she said that she would recommend that I get progesterone shots once a week from 18 weeks until 37 weeks (if I make it that long this time). I don't know how I feel about that. It is so new and there isn't much information out there about long-term effects on the fetus. WHAT IF I don't do it and end up going in to preterm labor again and it doesn't end up as good as it did with Renee? Then again, WHAT IF I do it and this baby ends up with some weird defect later in life? The eternal WHAT IFs of pregnancy. WHAT IF I do genetic screening? WHAT IF I don't? WHAT IF the baby is born with three eyes?

I'm not quite ready to say "this is my last pregnancy" but I get closer and closer every day. I always wanted 3 kids but really, can I go through this again? I can handle the barfing and the mood swings but it just seems like it has been one problem after another with both pregnancies. I just don't think my stupid body likes being pregnant. It must miss the wine.

wireless lawnmowers

Conversation heard on the radio this morning:

Host 1: "I believe that everything will be wireless in 50 years."
Host 2: "Not everything can be made wireless. I mean, are you going to have a wireless lawnmower?"

HO-LEEE CRAP, Genius. That is all.

barf central

I had (another) ultrasound yesterday and the embryo now has a spine! Whoa dude, just last Thursday there was no spine and then all of a sudden four days later, a spine! Pure craziness. The good part of having ultrasounds every fifteen minutes is that you get the see the thing growing at atomic light speed, the bad part is that every time I see it I get more attached. This pregnancy is still touch and go. My doctor actually told me that I shouldn't be traveling and if I absolutely HAD to that I should bring doctor's notes along just in case I end up in an ER somewhere. Doesn't exactly invoke confidence, does it?

Nothing that I normally eat sounds good at all. I had ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner twice this week. When I was making one for the second consecutive night, Ski looked at me and said "You don't even like ham." No shit genius. But I'm pregnant and now I like ham. I'm pregnant and am therefore allowed to change my mind on what I do and don't eat at any given time. Last night I ate a cheeseburger off the grill which tasted delicious and then I promptly threw it up which didn't taste so delicious. So cheeseburgers are off the "might be able to choke down" list. The list is dwindling. I do know that everything Renee eats makes me want to vomit so feeding her pretty much sends me spiraling in to dry heave mode. Are we having fun yet? Let me check, NOPE.

why not?

Oh, a chain letter. I used to be a sucker for chain letter emails and since I have a serious case of blog block and no ambition to take pictures, this works. Besides, everyone else was doing it...and I am ALL about doing just what everyone else is doing.

1. Maybe I should stop going to bed at 8PM as waking up at 4AM sort of sucks.
2. I love the smell of my baby.
3. People would say that I'm a hard worker but that is changing as I get older.
4. I don’t understand women and why they are so competitive with eachother.
5. When I wake up in the morning I'm just praying to get a shower in and makeup on before the spawn wakes up and demands milk.
6. I lost our TV remote control after Renee was born. I found it in one of the gift bags someone sent when she was three months old.
7. Life is full of everything...joy, sorrow, happiness and sadness.
8. My past is full of good memories and good friends.
9. I get annoyed when my husband forgets that he does in fact know how to do laundry and empty the dishwasher.
10. Parties are tiring. I'm a small group person.
11. I wish I had more motivation to learn new things.
12. Dogs are stinky and a lot of work.
13. Cats are my kind of pet. They certainly have minds of their own.
14. Tomorrow I'm going to sit at work for eight hours...just like every other day.
15. I have low tolerance for people who think that their way is the only way and refuse to understand the concept of empathy.
16. I’m totally terrified of being kidnapped or having something bad happen to someone I love.
17. I wonder what people think when they meet me.
18. Never in my life have I gone skydiving. I really couldn't think of anything else here. I've done a lot of stupid things.
19. High school was hard. That age in my life was not easy on me. I never want to go back. Ever.
20. When I’m nervous I bite the skin on my fingers until they bleed.
21. One time at a family gathering 'The Aunts' got drunk and took the Jetskis out on the lake in the middle of the night. We were certain they were not coming back but they did.
22. Take my advice: Have fun, if you don't it is your own fault.
23. Making my bed NEVER happens. I mean NEVER.
24. I'm almost always counting the minutes until I get to go to bed.
25. I’m addicted to wasting time on the computer.
26. I want someone to come over and fix my driveway out of the kindness of their own heart.

most ready for winter to be over

My neighbor spent most of yesterday shoveling the snow from his snowbanks INTO his driveway. On Friday he shoveled a foot of snow OFF of his driveway. On Sunday he would come out of his house every few hours as the snow melted and shovel the snow back ON to his driveway. Ski and I watched obsessively, wondering what in the hell was going on. Is it Opposite Day? Did we wake up in some alternate universe? The only explanation that we could come up with is that he was actually trying to make the snow melt faster. I think that guy wins the award for Most Ready for Winter to Be Over. I thought I was in the running but alas I am far too lazy to be bothered with shoveling snow FROM MY YARD INTO MY DRIVEWAY. People are so WEIRD.

Bunco was a success and boy oh boy am I glad it is over. I have been slowly retrieving the items I shoved away from various hiding places and am about 50% of the way to getting our cluttered, over-stuffed lives back to normal. The crew only drank 3 of the 12 bottles of wine I bought for the occassion. I wonder what I'll do with 9 leftover bottles of wine? Oh, let me think, I guess I'll DRINK it. It is a travesty but they left me with no other choice.

My daughter managed to nurse only FOUR TIMES each day this weekend and has FINALLY mastered the art of chugging various liquids from her sippy cup. Water, juice, milk, it doesn't matter, she throws her head back and chugs. When I was in college I was always on the winning chugging teams when we were chugging, you know, milk and juice and water. I think she takes after me. I am so proud.

Good Lord I have a serious case of the Mondays.

threatened

The ultrasound on Thursday was good...as good as I was hoping for. The baby still has a heartbeat (in the 150s this time!) and is growing on schedule. It is still measuring 4-5 days behind but at least it has been consistent. The blood pooling in my uterus is still there though and I was really hoping they were going to say Everthing looks perfect. Just go about your business and plan on having a baby in November. They didn't say that. Instead they sent me for blood work to test my progesterone levels with a diagnosis of Threatened on the order form. Seeing Threatened in writing didn't really do much to ease the pit that has been sitting in the bottom of my stomach for two weeks making it hard to swallow. Then the April Blizzard of 2008 hit and I couldn't get the results until this morning. They said my level was 15.2 and that they wanted it to be above 12. If it wasn't above 12 they would start a progesterone supplement. I asked what is normal and she said 15-32. I am a mere 0.2 into the normal level which has sort of sent me back in panic mode. Not that I ever left panic mode but you know there were moments this weekend when I was actually complaining about the stomach-ickiness rather than just being damn thankful to be having it. I have yet another ultrasound tomorrow followed by more blood work so perhaps at some point I can go back to the life where I only have to go sit in the waiting room at the OB office for 2 hours once a month as opposed to 2 hours twice a week.

In addition this week I am contemplating switching OBs. Not really because I don't like my old one but because I sort of like the one that did my c-section better. I saw the one that did my c-section last week and she remembered me and Ski, that we had had a baby relatively recently, she remembered my septum without even looking at my chart. I don't think my regular doctor had any clue who we were when we were there last week. Is it weird to switch doctors? I think the old Doctor has a really good bedside manner and she always makes me feel like everything is NO BIG DEAL but the new doctor seems more proactive and cautious. I can't decide which is better. And I can't ask anyone for advice because let's face it, no one even knows that I'm pregnant. If I was all like Do you think I should switch OBs? they just might get suspicious.