the difference between #1 and #2

When I was pregnant with Renee I quit everything even on the 'has the potential to maybe be somewhat slightly harmful to a fetus' list from my life cold turkey. I was a maryr. I ate salad with chicken for lunch every day. I shunned caffeine. I went to bed early, exercised every day that my hips permitted me to walk and I made sure I was drinking AT LEAST double the recommended daily requirement of water. I was THAT girl. The pregnant girl no one likes. This time around I find myself eating turkey sandwiches without a second thought. Or bleu cheese. Or 14 thin mint cookies. I'm a mere five weeks pregnant and I've already had a diet coke. Only one but I went 10 months without one last time. Why is it that I am not obsessive this time? I feel sort of bad, like Renee got the golden treatment and this kid will be lucky if it gets spinach or chickpeas or asparagus at all.