I find myself coming back here after so much time has passed… apparently major life changes cause me to dust off the old blog and reflect. The past eight months have been such a whirlwind.
I’m a brutally honest person by nature. I’ll be the first to tell you that I denied my post-partum depression for fifteen months before I landed myself at the crisis center admitting to a total stranger that I really didn’t want to live anymore. I’ll be honest when I tell you that I had a really hard time bonding with my second child and the guilt that came along with that still haunts me to this day. I’ll tell the truth that some days I really just wish my little one was five and that we were done with this two-year old bullshit once and for all.
But, those bad days are always balanced out by good days. The days where I find myself sledding with Cameron and feeling such incredible joy at his perfect little laugh. Or the days when I’m rocking Isaac in the middle of the night and I find myself pleading with God to just keep him little for a while longer. And, my sweet little Renee, on the days when she isn’t moving at a snail’s pace (she’s LAZY), I watch her do something SO kind for one of her friends and I’m just so proud of person she is becoming. My life is awesome and incredibly difficult all at the same time.
I guess it seems natural for me to be brutally honest about what has happened to me this year. There have been good days and bad days. Days where I’m 100% sure that I just can’t do this two jobs thing for one single day longer and days where I’m just so incredibly grateful for this experience that I get tears in my eyes just talking about it. It’s been a roller coaster, just like raising kids has been... one of the craziest trips of my life.
In 2009, we bought a house we really couldn’t afford and then we got the bright idea to have a third child. The combination of those two things landed us in a pretty tough spot financially. The number after adding up all of the credit card debt was enough to make me throw up. Repeatedly. We’re talking about debt that we knew would follow us around for the rest of our lives. I know we aren’t the only ones, it’s the American way. We fell victim to it. I have a lot of regrets about it and I wish I could get a do-over but unfortunately that’s just not the way life works. Our parents went through hard times financially and this was our turn.
At the end of 2012, I went from working part-time back to working full-time in order to try to get our heads above water financially. I figured that if I just made more money that things would be better. The trouble is, while it may have helped a bit financially, it made everything else worse. My work-load ramped way up and there was travel involved and the kids started ice skating and hockey and soccer and every day became a mad dash from sun up to sun down. I feel like I never see my kids and when I do, all I do is yell at them to eat their dinner and hurry up and get in the car or I will be late for work AGAIN. The house is a complete and TOTAL disaster; we eat crappy food that makes me feel like a complete failure. I got to the point early last year where I felt like there was basically nothing left of me, of my interests, of the things that I feel are important in life. I quit taking pictures. I quit blogging. I let my garden die. I quit working out and eating healthy. I did nothing but work and literally run the kids from one task to the next.
Then last June, I ordered some oils on a whim because I needed something to help me manage my stress. In July, I decided that I loved them so much that I had to share them with other people. I wanted to be able to pay for the oils that I couldn’t live without and I didn’t want to dump them on the trusty, ridiculously large credit cards. My journey since that day has been nothing short of incredible and on so many levels, financially, socially, spiritually. I'll be visiting Young Living farms in Utah, Idaho and Ecuador with a wonderful group of friends this year, witnessing first hand the purity that goes into their oils. I get GIDDY just thinking about it.
The people I work with ask a lot about my numbers and I understand their curiosity because I wonder about my leaders’ numbers as well. Last week, the ever-inspiring Lindsay posted the numbers of her journey and I had the same reaction that I had the first time I read about Nicole’s growth: complete and utter disbelief.
So, I pulled out the spreadsheet I track closely to monitor my growth and to pick out trends and I compared my numbers to her numbers and well, I get more and more confident every month that this is going to be a long-term career for me. It just seems so impossible. What has happened to me seems impossible.
I share these numbers not to brag as I feel very strongly that this path wasn’t my choice to walk on and I know without a doubt that so many other people had such a BIG part in my success (I’m not sure I’ll ever not cry when I talk about my oil ladies), but I do it to show people that this is NOT impossible. To prove to the people that roll their eyes at me and my oil obsession what we are really talking about here. To reassure people I have known my entire life and that are working with me on this journey that this is most certainly possible for them. I am not special. I don’t sell very many oils. I am not pushy (I hope) and I do not do things that are against my personal ethics. What I do every day makes me feel GOOD and not just a little good but REALLY GOOD. I give back to my people to help them grow and I get so much joy from doing that. I simply love oils and I love to talk about them with people and I love to dig for answers to questions about how to use oils or how to run a business. You know those “this is your way to financial freedom” commercials that you roll your eyes at? I’m fricking living one. I’M LIVING ONE. I’M LIVING ONE. If I just say it out loud enough times, maybe I’ll believe it.
Personal Enrollments: 12
Personal Enrollments: 5
Personal Enrollments: 4
Personal Enrollments: 1
Personal Enrollments: 2
Personal Enrollments: 5
Personal Enrollments: 2
Personal Enrollments: 0
Commission: Who knows, but it's gotta be good, right?
If you look at the overall averaged growth for the last seven months, my team is growing at a rate of 181%. You project that, or even a conservative, say 120% growth out into the next six months and well, I no longer think Lindsay’s $23,354 seems that out of reach. In fact, based on the trends I’ve watched closely over the last seven months, I think it’s a forgone conclusion. That is 1/3 of my yearly salary in ONE MONTH, you guys. And that just completely blows my ever-loving mind.
Would I talk about oils even if I made no money? Yes, I absolutely would. I love them that much. Do I think they are going to replace modern medicine? Nope. But, do I think that we over-medicate ourselves as a society when it's not really necessary? You better believe I do. And it has become my mission in life to learn as much as I can and to share that knowledge with others
If you're my friend or my family or one of my oil friends, thank-you. Thank-you for believing in me and thank-you for your love and support. I have never EVER done anything like this before but I'm so incredibly grateful that for once I put aside my skepticism and my glass-half-empty attitude and I took a chance.
My cup runneth over.